Isahluko 2
Kungani Sihlale Siphikisana?
Endabeni esekuqaleni kwalesi sahluko, uGugu ubangela ingxabano ngezindlela ezintathu. Ungakwazi ukuzisho? Bhala izimpendulo ngezansi, bese uziqhathanisa nezisebhokisini elithi “Izimpendulo” ekhasini 20.
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ULwesithathu kusihlwa. UGugu oneminyaka engu-17 useyiqedile imisebenzi yasendlini, uselungele ukuphumula! Uvula i-TV, athi voshosho esihlalweni asithandayo.
Ngawo lowo mzuzu, kuqhamuka unina, akajabulile neze. “Gugu! Kungani uchitha isikhathi ubukele i-TV esikhundleni sokusiza udadewenu ngomsebenzi wesikole? Awuzwa wena!”
“Ey, kwasuka futhi lokho,” kungunuza uGugu.
Unina asondele. “Uthini?”
“Angisho lutho mama,” kusho uGugu ezinikina.
Umama usethukuthele ngempela manje. Uthi, “Ungakhulumi kanjalo nami!”
“Angithi nawe ukhuluma kanjalo nami,” kuphendula uGugu.
Siphela kanjalo isikhathi sokuphumula . . . kuqala enye ingxabano.
INGABE usijwayele isimo esinje? Ingabe wena nabazali bakho niphikisana njalo? Uma kunjalo, ake uzinike isikhathi sokucabangisisa ngale ndaba. Iziphi izinto ezivame ukunixabanisa? Faka uqhwishi (✔) ezintweni ezivame ukunixabanisa—noma uzibhale eceleni kwelithi “Okunye.”
□ Isimo sengqondo
□ Imisebenzi yasendlini
□ Izingubo zokugqoka
□ Isikhathi okufanele ubuye ngaso ekhaya
□ Ukuzijabulisa
□ Abangane
□ Abobulili obuhlukile
□ Okunye ․․․․․
Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi yini eniphikisana ngayo, ukuphikisana kushiya wena nabazali bakho niphatheke kabi. Yiqiniso, ungase udle imihlathi ushaye sengathi uvumelana nakho konke okushiwo abazali bakho. Kodwa ingabe yilokho uNkulunkulu akufunayo? Cha. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi iBhayibheli lithi “hlonipha uyihlo nonyoko.” (Efesu 6:2, 3) Kodwa likukhuthaza nokuba uthuthukise ‘ikhono lokucabanga’ futhi usebenzise ‘amandla akho okucabanga.’ (IzAga 1:1-4; Roma 12:1) Uma wenza kanjalo, nakanjani uyoba nemibono eqinile, eminye yayo engase yehluke kweyabazali bakho. Nokho, emikhayeni esebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli, abazali nezingane bangakwazi ukukhulumisana ngokuthula—ngisho noma bengaboni ngaso linye.—Kolose 3:13.
Ungakusho kanjani ofuna ukukusho ngaphandle kokuba nigcine senixabene? Kulula ukuvele uthi: “Inkinga yabazali bami leyo. Yibona abahlale bengibelesela!” Kodwa zibuze: Ungakwazi yini ukushintsha abanye abantu, kuhlanganise nabazali bakho? Okuwukuphela komuntu ongamshintsha uwena. Okuhle ukuthi uma uyenza eyakho ingxenye ekudambiseni isimo esishubile, cishe abazali bakho bayokwehlisa umoya futhi balalele okushoyo.
Ngakho ake sibone ukuthi yini ongayenza ukuze uqede izingxabano. Sebenzisa ukusikisela okulandelayo, futhi abazali bakho bayomangala lapho bebona amakhono akho amasha okukhuluma—kwawena umangale.
● Cabanga ngaphambi kokuba uphendule. Musa ukusho noma yini esheshe ifike engqondweni yakho uma uzwa sengathi uyasukelwa. Ngokwesibonelo, ake sithi umama wakho uthi: “Kungani ungazigezanga izitsha? Awuzwa wena!” Ungase uphendule ungacabangile uthi, “Ungangibeleseli!” Kodwa sebenzisa ikhono lakho lokucabanga. Zama ukuqonda ukuthi yini emenza akhulume kanjalo. Ngokuvamile, amazwi athi “awuzwa,” “awulaleli,” akufanele athathwe njengoba enjalo. Noma kunjalo, aveza umzwelo othile. Ungase ube yini?
Kungenzeka umama wakho ucindezelekile, unomuzwa wokuthi imisebenzi yasendlini ingaphezu kwamandla akhe. Kungenzeka ukuthi ufuna nje umqinisekise ngokuthi uyamzwela. Uma kunjalo, ukuthi, “Musa ukungibelesela!” ngeke kukusize ngalutho—niyovele nixabane! Esikhundleni salokho, kungani ungambonisi ukuthi uyamzwela? Ngokwesibonelo, ungase uthi: “Ngiyabona ukuthi ucasukile mama. Ngizozigeza njengamanje izitsha.” Qaphela: Ungambhuqi. Phendula ngendlela ebonisa uzwela, futhi liyokwehla igwebu bese ekutshela ukuthi iyini inkinga yangempela.a
Ngezansi, bhala amazwi angase ashiwo ubaba noma umama wakho angase akucasule—uma uwavumela.
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Yibe usucabanga ngamazwi abonisa uzwela ongase umphendule ngawo.
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● Khuluma ngenhlonipho. UMichelle usefundile ukuthi ibaluleke kanjani indlela akhuluma ngayo nomama wakhe. Uthi, “Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi iyini inkinga, njalo nje umama ukhala ngendlela engikhuluma ngayo.” Uma kuvame ukuba njalo nangawe, funda ukukhulumela phansi, ungasheshi, ugweme nokuzinikina noma ukwenza ezinye izinto ezibonisa ukuthi ucasukile. (IzAga 30:17) Uma uzwa sengathi usuzohluthuka, thandaza umthandazo omfushane buthule. (Nehemiya 2:4) Injongo yakho ayikona ukuthola usizo lukaNkulunkulu ukuze umzali wakho ahlukane nawe kodwa iwukuba uqhubeke uzibambile ukuze ungenzi isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu.—Jakobe 1:26.
Ngezansi, bhala amazwi nezenzo ozenzayo lapho uphendula okungaba kuhle ukuba uziyeke.
Amazwi (izinto ozishoyo):
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Izenzo (isimo sobuso nokunyakaza komzimba):
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● Lalela. IBhayibheli lithi: “Uyosho into engafanele uma ukhuluma kakhulu.” (IzAga 10:19, Contemporary English Version) Ngakho qiniseka ukuthi uyamnika ubaba noma umama wakho ithuba lokukhuluma nokuthi uyamlalelisisa. Ungamngeni emlonyeni, ubeke izaba. Lalela. Lapho sebeqedile ukukhuluma, uyosithola isikhathi sokubuza imibuzo noma sokubachazela indlela ozizwa ngayo. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma udaza inkani ufuna ukusho okucabangayo lapho besakhuluma, uyokwenza isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu. Ngisho noma kukhona othanda ukukusho, cishe okwamanje “isikhathi sokuthula.”—UmShumayeli 3:7.
● Zimisele ukuxolisa. Ngaso sonke isikhathi kuyafaneleka ukuba uthi “ngiyaxolisa” nganoma yini oyenzile ebangele ingxabano. (Roma 14:19) Ungaze uxolisele nanokuthi ibe khona kwayona ingxabano. Uma kunzima ukuxolisa ngomlomo, zama ukubabhalela incwadi. Yibe ‘usuhamba amamayela amabili’ ngokuba ushintshe noma yini ebangele leyo ngxabano. (Mathewu 5:41) Ngokwesibonelo, uma kuwumsebenzi wasendlini obungawenzile odale lokho kuhilizisana, kungani ungabajabulisi abazali bakho ngokuwenza? Ngisho noma ungawuthandi, ngeke yini kube ngcono ukuwenza kunokuba uxabane nabazali bakho lapho bethola ukuthi awukawenzi? (Mathewu 21:28-31) Cabanga ngezinzuzo oyozithola ngokwenza ingxenye yakho ekunciphiseni izingxabano phakathi kwakho nabazali bakho.
Imikhaya ephumelelayo inazo izingxabano, kodwa iyakwazi ukuzixazulula ngokuthula. Sebenzisa amacebiso akulesi sahluko, futhi uyothola ukuthi ungakwazi ukuxoxa nabazali bakho ngisho nangezinto ezinzima—ngaphandle kokuphikisana!
Ingabe ucabanga ukuthi abazali bakho kufanele bakunikeze inkululeko ethé xaxa? Uma kunjalo, yini ongayenza?
[Umbhalo waphansi]
a Ukuze uthole amaphuzu engeziwe, bheka uMqulu 2, iSahluko 21.
UMBHALO OYINHLOKO
“Abantu abalungile bayacabanga ngaphambi kokuba baphendule.” —IzAga 15:28, Today’s English Version.
ICEBISO
Lapho abazali bakho bekhuluma nawe, vala umculo, ubeke incwadi noma umagazini phansi, ulalele lokho abakushoyo.
UBUWAZI . . . ?
Ukwenza umzamo wokuxazulula noma ukuvimba ingxabano kuyokwenzela izinto zibe lula. IBhayibheli lithi umuntu “onomusa wothando uwuphatha ngendlela enomvuzo umphefumulo wakhe.”—IzAga 11:17.
ENGIZOKWENZA
Kulesi sahluko, iphuzu okudingeka ngisebenzele kakhulu kulo yileli ․․․․․
Ngizoqala ukulisebenzisa ngomhla ka-(bhala usuku) ․․․․․
Engingathanda ukukubuza umzali wami (abazali) ngale ndaba ․․․․․
UCABANGANI?
● Kungani abanye ontanga yakho bekujabulela ukuba kugcine bona lapho kunempikiswano?
● Kungani uJehova uNkulunkulu ebheka umuntu othanda impikiswano njengoyisiwula?—IzAga 20:3.
● Yini ongayizuza ngokugwema ukubangela izingxabano phakathi kwakho nabazali bakho?
[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 18]
Ngezinye izikhathi umama uxolisa ngokunganga, futhi kuba mnandi lokho. Sibe sesikudlulisa okwenzekile. Nami ngiyazama ukumlingisa. Ukuzehlisa nokuxolisa ngobuqotho kufeza okukhulu, nakuba kungelula.’’—ULauren
[Ibhokisi ekhasini 20]
Izimpendulo
1. Ukukhuluma ngokubhuqa (“Ey, kwasuka futhi lokho”) kwenze umama wakhe wacasuka nakakhulu.
2. Ukuzinikina kukaGugu kuye kwamthukuthelisa unina.
3. Ukuphendula ngendelelo (“Angithi nawe ukhuluma kanjalo nami”) kuvame ukwenza isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu.
[Isithombe ekhasini 19]
Ukuphikisana nomzali wakho kufana nokujaha umoya—uyokhandleka kakhulu kodwa ungafiki ndawo