Zakumapeto

Mafunso Amene Makolo Amadzifunsa

“Kodi ndingatani kuti mwana wanga azindimasukira?”

“Kodi ndiike nthawi yoti mwana aliyense azifikira pakhomo?”

“Kodi ndingathandize bwanji mwana wanga wamkazi kuti azidya moyenera?”

Awa ndi ena mwa mafunso 17 amene ayankhidwa m’chigawochi. Zakumapetozi zagawidwa m’zigawo 6 ndipo zikusonyeza pamene nkhanizi zachokera m’Buku Loyamba ndi Lachiwiri.

Werengani nkhanizi ndipo ngati n’zotheka kambiranani ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Kenako gwiritsani ntchito malangizowa pothandiza ana anu. Mayankho amene mupeze ndi othandiza kwambiri chifukwa sanachokere pa nzeru za anthu koma achokera m’Baibulo, lomwe ndi Mawu a Mulungu.​—2 Timoteyo 3:16, 17.

290 Kulankhulana

297 Malamulo

302 Kuchita Zinthu Pawekha

307 Kugonana Komanso Chibwenzi

311 Mmene Ukumvera

315 Moyo Wauzimu

KULANKHULANA

Kodi kukangana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga komanso ana anga kuli ndi vuto lililonse?

Kusemphana maganizo n’kosapeweka m’banja koma mukhoza kusankha njira yothetsera kusemphana maganizoko. Ana amakhudzidwa kwambiri ngati makolo awo akukangana. Nkhani imeneyi ndi yofunika kuiganizira mofatsa chifukwa ana anu adzatengera zimene inuyo mumachita akadzakwatira. Choncho mungachite bwino kugwiritsa ntchito kusemphana maganizo kwanu ngati njira yowaphunzitsira mmene angathetsere kusemphana maganizo. Mungachite zotsatirazi:

Muzimvetsera. Baibulo limati: “Aliyense akhale wofulumira kumva, wodekha polankhula, wosafulumira kukwiya.” (Yakobo 1:19) “Musabwezere choipa pa choipa” chifukwa zimenezi zingangowonjezera mavuto. (Aroma 12:17) Ngakhale mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ataoneka kuti sakufuna kumvetsera, inuyo mukhoza kumvetsera zimene akunena.

Muzifotokoza bwino zinthu m’malo momangoimbana milandu. Mtima wanu ukakhala m’malo, uzani mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mmene zochita zake zimakukhudzirani. (Munganene kuti: “Ndimakhumudwa mukachita zakutizakuti.”) Muzipewa kunena zinthu zosonyeza kuti mnzanuyo walakwa. (Muzipewa kunena kuti: “Simumandiganizira.” “Simumamvetsera ndikamalankhula.”)

Musamayankhe mutakwiya. Nthawi zina ndi bwino kusiya kaye kukambirana nkhaniyo mpaka mitima itakhala m’malo. Baibulo limati: “Chiyambi cha mkangano chili ngati kuboola damu kuti madzi atulukemo. Choncho mkangano usanabuke, chokapo.”​—Miyambo 17:14.

Muzipepesana komanso muzipepesa ana anu, ngati analipo. Brianne, wazaka 14, ananena kuti: “Nthawi zina makolo anga akakangana ankandipepesa komanso ankapepesa mchimwene wanga chifukwa ankadziwa kuti zimatikhudza.” Chinthu chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri zomwe mungaphunzitse ana anu ndi kunena kuti, “Pepani.”

Koma bwanji ngati mwakangana ndi mwana wanu? Poyamba ganizirani kaye ngati inuyo simunakulitse vutolo. Mwachitsanzo, taonani zimene zili m’Mutu 2, patsamba 15 m’bukuli. Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zimene mayi ake a Rachel anachita zomwe zinachititsa kuti akangane? Kodi inuyo mungatani kuti muzipewa kukangana ndi mwana wanu? Yesani kuchita zotsatirazi:

● Muzipewa kunena mawu ngati akuti, “Nthawi zonse umakonda . . .” kapena “Suchita zakutizakuti.” Kunena mawu amenewa kungachititse kuti mwana wanuyo adziikire kumbuyo. Ndipotu nthawi zambiri mawu amenewa amakhala okokomeza ndipo mwanayo amadziwa zimenezo. Mwanayo amadziwanso kuti mukungonena zimenezi chifukwa chokwiya osati chifukwa chakuti walephera kuchita zinazake.

● M’malo molankhula mawu okalipa osonyeza kuti ndi wolakwa ngati akuti “umakonda” kapena “suchita,” muzimuuza mmene zochita zake zimakukhudzirani. Mwachitsanzo, mungamuuze kuti, “Sindisangalala ukapanga zakutizakuti.” Ngakhale kuti simungakhulupirire, mwana wanu amakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi mmene mumamvera. Choncho, mukamamuuza mmene mukumvera akhoza kuyamba kuchita zinthu zoti muzigwirizana.a

● Muziyesetsa kuugwira mtima ngakhale kuti kuchita zimenezi n’kovuta. (Miyambo 29:22) Ngati mumakonda kusemphana maganizo pa nkhani ngati ntchito zapakhomo, mungachite bwino kukambirana naye. Lembani ntchito zimene ayenera kugwira komanso chilango chimene angapatsidwe ngati sagwira ntchitozo, ngati n’kofunikadi kutero. Muzimvetsera modekha mwana wanu akamafotokoza maganizo ake, ngakhale kuti nthawi zina zimene anganene zingakhale zolakwika. Achinyamata ambiri amamvera makolo awo ngati makolowo amawamvetsera akamalankhula m’malo momangowauza zochita.

● Musamafulumire kuganiza kuti mwana wanu wasiya kukumverani. Dziwani kuti zimene mwanu wanu akuchita ndi zimene zimachitikira mwana aliyense akamakula. Nthawi zina angatsutse mfundo zanu pofuna kusonyeza kuti akukula. Choncho, muzipewa kuchita zinthu zomwe zingachititse kuti muzikangana. Ndipo muzikumbukira kuti mwana wanu amaphunzira zambiri akaona zimene mumachita wina akakuputani. Mukamayesetsa kuleza mtima, ana anu adzatengera khalidwe limeneli.​—Agalatiya 5:22, 23.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 2 NDI BUKU LACHIWIRI, MUTU 24

Kodi ana anga akufunika kudziwa zonse zokhudza mbiri yanga?

Tayerekezerani kuti inuyo, mkazi wanu ndi mwana wanu wamkazi mukudya chakudya limodzi ndi banja lina lomwe mumacheza nalo kwambiri. Pamene mukucheza, mnzanuyo akutchula dzina la mkazi amene munali naye pachibwenzi musanakumane ndi mkazi wanu amene muli naye panopo. Mwana wanu akudabwa kwambiri moti wangoti kukamwa yasa. Kenako akukufunsani kuti: “Adadi, ndiye kuti munali ndi chibwenzi china?” Nkhani imeneyi munali musanamuuzepo mwana wanuyo ndipo akufuna kudziwa zimene zinachitika. Kodi mungatani?

Nthawi zambiri ndi bwino kuyankha mafunso amene mwana wanu angakhale nawo. Ndipotu mwana wanu akamafunsa mafunso komanso kumvetsera mukamamuyankha, zimasonyeza kuti mumamasukirana, zomwe ndi zimene makolo ambiri amafuna.

Kodi muyenera kumufotokozera mwana wanu zonse zokhudza mbiri yanu? Nthawi zambiri makolo samauza ana awo nkhani zochititsa manyazi zimene zinawachitikira. Komatu nthawi zina kuuza ana anu zinthu zina zimene munalakwitsa kungawathandize kwambiri. N’chifukwa chiyani tikutero?

Taganizirani chitsanzo ichi: Mtumwi Paulo anafotokoza zina mwa zofooka zake kuti: “Pamene ndikufuna kuchita chinthu chabwino, choipa chimakhala chili ndi ine. . . . Munthu wovutika ine!” (Aroma 7:21-24) Yehova Mulungu ndi amene anachititsa kuti mawu amenewa alembedwe ndi kusungidwa m’Baibulo kuti atithandize. Ndipotu mawu amenewa ndi othandizadi chifukwa aliyense anamvapo ngati mmene Paulo anamvera.

Ndi mmenenso zilili ndi ana anu. Akamamva zosankha zabwino zimene munachita komanso zinthu zina zimene munalakwitsa, amalimbikitsidwa chifukwa amadziwa kuti zimene akukumana nazo inunso munakumanapo nazo. N’zoona kuti mmene moyo unalili pa nthawi yanu n’zosiyana kwambiri ndi panopa. Ndipotu ngakhale kuti moyo wasintha, koma mmene anthu amakulira komanso mfundo za m’Malemba sizinasinthe. (Salimo 119:144) Kuuza ana anu mavuto amene munakumana nawo komanso zimene munachita kuti muthane nawo kungawathandize kuti nawonso aziyesetsa kuthetsa mavuto awo. Mnyamata wina dzina lake Cameron ananena kuti: “Ukadziwa kuti makolo ako anakumanaponso ndi mavuto amene iweyo ukukumana nawo, umadziwa kuti akhoza kukuthandiza.” Iye ananenanso kuti: “Ndipo umati ukakumananso ndi vuto lina, umayamba kuganiza kuti, ‘N’kutheka kuti makolo anga anakumananso ndi zinthu ngati zimenezi.’”

Chenjezo: Si kuti nthawi zonse mukamawauza ana anu za mbiri yanu muzimaliza ndi kuwapatsa malangizo. N’kutheka kuti mungakhale ndi nkhawa yakuti ana anuwo azikuonani molakwika kapena aziona kuti nawonso akhoza kumachita zinazake zoipa chifukwa chakuti inunso munachitapo. Choncho, m’malo mouza mwana wanuyo zimene ayenera kuphunzirapo pa zimene mwakambiranazo (Muzipewa kunena kuti: “N’chifukwa chake suyenera kuchita zakutizakuti.”) mungachite bwino kumuuza mwachidule mmene zimene munachitazo zimakukhudzirani panopa. (Munganene kuti: “Ndimaona kuti ndikanachita bwino ndikanachita zakutizakuti chifukwa . . . ”) Kuchita zimenezi kungathandize kuti mwana wanu aphunzirepo kanthu pa zimene zinakuchitikirani popanda kumuchititsa kumva kuti mukumupatsa malangizo.—Aefeso 6:4.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 1

Kodi ndingatani kuti mwana wanga azindimasukira?

Ana anu ali aang’ono, ayenera kuti ankakuuzani chilichonse. Munkati mukawafunsa, ankayankha nthawi yomweyo. Ndipo nthawi zambiri mwina simunkachita kuwafunsa, ankangoyamba okha kukuuzani nkhani zambirimbiri. Koma zimenezi zinasintha anawo atakulirapo ndipo sakumasukiraninso ngati kale, moti mumanena kuti, “N’chifukwa chiyani samandimasukira ineyo chonsecho amamasukirana ndi anzawo?”

Musaganize kuti ana anu samakukondani kapena safuna kuti muzidziwa zimene zikuwachitikira pa moyo wawo. Dziwani kuti panopo m’pamene akufunika kuti muzimasukirana nawo kwambiri kuposa kale. Ndipo chosangalatsa n’chakuti, kafukufuku wina anasonyeza kuti achinyamata ambiri amaonabe kuti malangizo a makolo awo ndi ofunika kwambiri kuposa zimene anzawo angawauze kapena zimene angamve kwa anthu ena.

Koma n’chifukwa chiyani samamasuka kukufotokozerani zimene akuganiza? Taonani zimene zimachititsa achinyamata ena kuti asamamasukire makolo awo. Kenako yesani kuyankha mafunso ali m’munsi mwakemo komanso muwerenge malemba amene ali pamenepo.

“Zimandivuta kumasukirana ndi bambo anga chifukwa amakhala ndi zambiri zochita, za kuntchito komanso za kumpingo. Ndimaona kuti sakhala ndi nthawi yoti n’kucheza nawo.”​—Anatero Andrew.

‘Kodi n’kutheka kuti zochita zanga zimapangitsa ana anga kuganiza kuti ndilibe nthawi yocheza nawo? Ngati ndi choncho, kodi ndingasinthe zinthu ziti kuti ndizipeza nthawi yocheza nawo? Kodi tsiku labwino lingakhale liti loti ndizicheza nawo mlungu uliwonse?’​—Deuteronomo 6:7.

“Tsiku lina nditakangana ndi winawake kusukulu, ndinapita kwa mayi anga ndikulira. Ndinkafuna kuti andilimbikitse koma anangondikalipirapo. Kungoyambira nthawi imeneyo, sindinawauzenso nkhani iliyonse.”​—Anatero Kenji.

‘Kodi ndimatani mwana wanga akabwera ndi vuto linalake? Ngakhale atakhala kuti walakwitsa ndi iyeyo, kodi ndingamumvetsere modekha ndisanayambe kumupatsa malangizo?’​—Yakobo 1:19.

“Ngakhale makolo amanena kuti ukhoza kuwauza chilichonse ndipo sakhumudwa, amapezeka kuti akhumudwabe ndi zimene wawauzazo. Zimenezi zimachititsa kuti usamawakhulupirirenso.”​—Anatero Rachel.

‘Kodi ndingatani kuti ndisamakwiye mwana wanga akandiuza nkhani yokhumudwitsa?’​—Miyambo 10:19.

“Nthawi zambiri ndinkati ndikawauza mayi anga nkhani zachinsinsi ankapezeka kuti awauza anzawo. Panapita nthawi yaitali kuti ndiyambenso kuwakhulupirira.”​—Anatero Chantelle.

‘Kodi ndimasonyeza kuti ndimamuganizira mwana wanga posaulula nkhani zachinsinsi zimene wandiuza?’​—Miyambo 25:9.

“Pali zinthu zambiri zimene ndimafuna nditakambirana ndi makolo anga. Koma ndimangoyembekezera kuti iwowo ayambitse zokambiranazo.”​—Anatero Courtney.

‘Kodi n’zotheka kuyambitsa kukambirana ndi mwana wanga? Kodi nthawi yabwino kukambirana ingakhale iti?’​—Mlaliki 3:7.

Inuyo monga makolo mungapindule kwambiri ngati mutayesetsa kuthandiza ana anu kuti azikhala omasuka kukambirana nanu. Taganizirani zimene zinamuchitikira Junko, wazaka 17, wa ku Japan. Iye ananena kuti: “Nthawi ina ndinavomera pamaso pa mayi anga kuti ndimamasuka kucheza ndi anzanga akusukulu kusiyana ndi Akhristu anzanga. Tsiku lotsatira ndinapeza kuti mayi asiya kalata patebulo langa. M’kalatamo anandiuza kuti nawonso nthawi zina ankasowa wocheza naye mumpingo. Anandiuza zitsanzo za anthu otchulidwa m’Baibulo omwe ankatumikira Mulungu ngakhale kuti ankasowa mnzawo womawalimbikitsa. Anandiyamikiranso chifukwa choyesetsa kucheza ndi anthu akhalidwe labwino. Ndinadabwa kudziwa kuti anthu enanso anakumanapo ndi vuto limeneli. Mayi anganso anakumanapo ndi vutoli ndipo ndinasangalala kudziwa zimenezi moti ndinalira. Zimene mayi anga anandiuza zinandilimbikitsa kwambiri ndipo ndinkafunitsitsa kuchita zinthu zoyenera nthawi zonse.”

Mayi ake a Junko anapeza kuti achinyamata amamasuka kuwauza makolo awo maganizo awo komanso mmene akumvera ngati akudziwa kuti makolowo sawaseka kapena kuwakalipira. Koma kodi mungatani ngati mwana wanuyo akuoneka kuti wakukwiyirani kapena akukukalipirani? Nanunso musakwiye kapena kumukalipira. (Aroma 12:21; 1 Petulo 2:23) Ngakhale kuti n’zovuta, yesetsani kulankhula modekha komanso kuchita zinthu mwanzeru. Zimenezi zingachititse kuti mwanayo atengere chitsanzo chanu.

Muzikumbukira kuti achinyamata akamakula kachitidwe kawo ka zinthu kamasinthasintha. Akatswiri amanena kuti m’nthawi imeneyi, achinyamata amapezeka kuti pena akuchita zinthu mwachikulu kuposa msinkhu wawo, pena akuchita zinthu ngati mwana wamng’ono. Ngati mutaona kuti mwana wanu akuchita zimenezi, makamaka ngati akuchita zinthu ngati mwana wamng’ono, kodi mungatani?

Yesetsani kupewa kumuyankha mwaukali kapena kukangana naye. M’malomwake muyenera kumuyankha mozindikira kuti akuphunzira kumene kuchita zinthu ngati munthu wamkulu. (1 Akorinto 13:11) Mwachitsanzo, ngati wachinyamatayo wayamba kuchita zinthu ngati mwana ndipo wanena kuti: “Musandikwane ndi mafunso anuwo,” zikhoza kukukhumudwitsani ndipo mungafune kumuyankha mwaukali. Koma ngati mutachita zimenezi zingapangitse kuti mulephere kulamulira zokambiranazo ndipo mungayambe kukangana. Koma ngati mutangonena kuti: “Zikuoneka kuti wakhumudwa. Bwanji tipitirize kukambirana nkhaniyi nthawi ina?” Zimenezi zingathandize kuti mukambirane nkhaniyo mwamtendere m’malo mokangana.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 1 NDI 2

MALAMULO

Kodi ndiike nthawi yoti mwana aliyense azifikira pakhomo?

Kuti muyankhe funso limeneli, tayerekezerani kuti mwana wanu munamuuza nthawi yofikira pakhomo koma tsiku lina wachedwa ndi mphindi 30, kenako mukumva kuti chitseko chikutsegulidwa pang’onopang’ono. Mukuona kuti mwana wanuyo akuchita zimenezi poganiza kuti mwagona kale. Koma mudakali m’maso ndipo mutangoona kuti nthawi imene munagwirizana yakwana, mwakhala mukumudikirira pafupi ndi pakhomo. Pamene mwanayo watsegula chitsekocho bwinobwino, mukuphana naye maso. Kodi mungatani?

Pali zinthu zingapo zomwe mungachite. Mukhoza kungoinyalanyaza nkhaniyo poganiza kuti ndi zimene achinyamata amachita. Kapena mukhoza kukwiya kwambiri n’kumuuza kuti “Usamachokenso pakhomo pano.” Koma m’malo mochita zinthu mopupuluma, ndi bwino kumvetsera kaye chifukwa n’kutheka kuti pali chifukwa chomveka chimene chamuchititsa kuti abwere mochedwa. Kenako mungautenge umenewu kukhala mwayi wanu woti mumuphunzitse zinthu zofunika. Kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi?

Zimene mungachite: Muuzeni kuti mukambirana nkhaniyo mawa. Kenako pa nthawi yoyenera, khalani pansi n’kukambirana mmene mungathetsere nkhaniyo. Makolo ena ayesa kuchita zotsatirazi: Ngati mwana wawo wabwera mochedwa, amamuchotsera mphindi 30 pa nthawi yofikira pakhomo pa ulendo wotsatira. Koma ngati mwana wanu wamwamuna kapena wamkazi simumamukaikira chifukwa chakuti nthawi zonse amafika pakhomo pa nthawi yake, mukhoza kumuwonjezera ufulu umene mumam’patsa. Mwina nthawi zina mukhoza kumuwonjezera nthawi imene angafikire pakhomo. Mwana wanu afunika kudziwa nthawi imene ayenera kufika pakhomo komanso chilango chimene angalandire ngati atalephera kufika pakhomo pa nthawi imene munagwirizana. Ndipo ngati wachedwa muyenera kumupatsadi chilangocho.

Komabe, Baibulo limati: “Anthu onse adziwe kuti ndinu ololera.” (Afilipi 4:5) Choncho musanakhazikitse nthawi imene mwana wanu ayenera kufikira pakhomo, mungachite bwino kukambirana naye n’kumulola kuti anene yekha nthawi imene akuona ngati ndi yabwino kuti azifika pakhomo komanso zifukwa zimene wasankhira nthawiyo. Ndiyeno mukamasankha nthawi yoti azifikira pakhomo mungachite bwino kuganizira zimene wanenazo. Ngati mwana wanu wakhala akuchita zinthu mwanzeru mukhoza kutsatira zimene wanena ngati mutaona kuti n’zothandiza.

Kuchita zinthu pa nthawi yake n’kofunika kwambiri. Choncho, kukhazikitsa nthawi yoti mwana wanu azifikira pakhomo sikumangomuthandiza kuti apewe kukumana ndi mavuto. Kudzamuthandizanso kuti akadzakula azidzachita zinthu pa nthawi yake.—Miyambo 22:6.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 3 NDI BUKU LACHIWIRI, MUTU 22

Kodi ndingatani ngati ndimasemphana maganizo ndi ana anga pa nkhani ya zovala?

Taganizirani zimene zili patsamba 77 m’bukuli. Tayerekezerani kuti Heather ndi mwana wanu. Mukuona kuti wavala zoonekera mkati. Nthawi yomweyo mukumuuza kuti: “Bwerera msanga ukavule zimenezo, apo ayi suchoka pakhomo pano.” N’zoona kuti mwanayo akavuladi zovalazo pongofuna kutsatira zimene inuyo mukufuna. Koma kodi mungamuphunzitse bwanji kusintha maganizo ake pa nkhani ya kavalidwe?

● Choyamba, dziwani kuti mwana wanu amakhala ndi nkhawa yaikulu, mwinanso kuposa imene inuyo mumakhala nayo, poganizira zimene zingachitike ngati sanavale bwino. Mwana wanuyo safuna kuti anthu ena azimuona ngati wotsalira kapena azingokhalira kumucheukira chifukwa cha mmene wavalira. Choncho, mungachite bwino kumufotokozera momveka bwino kuti ngati munthu sanavale bwino saonekanso bwino.b Kenako mungamuuze zovala zimene zingakhale zoyenera.

● Chachiwiri, khalani wololera. Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi chovalacho n’cholakwika kapena ineyo ndi amene sichikundisangalatsa?’ (2 Akorinto 1:24; 1 Timoteyo 2:9, 10) Ngati nkhani ndi yakuti sichikusangalatsani, kodi mungamulole mwana wanu kuti avalebe?

● Chachitatu, musamangomuuza mwana wanu zovala zomwe ndi zosayenera. Muzimuthandizanso kuti azidziwa kusankha zovala zoyenera. Mungagwiritse ntchito bokosi lomwe lili patsamba 82 ndi 83, kuti muthe kukambirana ndi mwana wanu. Ngati mutachita khama kukambirana ndi mwana wanu pa nkhani ya kavalidwe, mudzamuthandiza kuti azisankha zovala zoyenera.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 11

Kodi ndiyenera kumulola mwana wanga kuchita masewera apakompyuta?

Kuchokera pamene munali achinyamata, masewera apakompyuta asintha kwambiri. Monga makolo, kodi mungathandize bwanji mwana wanu kuti azitha kuzindikira mavuto amene angakumane nawo chifukwa chochita masewerawa komanso zimene angachite kuti asakumane ndi mavutowa?

Kuwaletseratu kuchita masewerawa kapena kuwauza kuti amangowadyera nthawi chifukwa chakuti inuyo mumadana ndi masewerawo, sikungathandize ana anu. Kumbukirani kuti si masewera onse apakompyuta omwe ndi oipa. Komabe, nthawi zambiri munthu akayamba kusewera safuna kusiya. Choncho, mungachite bwino kudziwa kutalika kwa nthawi imene mwana wanu amakhala akuchita masewerawa. Muzidziwanso mtundu wa magemu amene mwana wanu amakonda kusewera. Mungamufunse mafunso ngati awa:

● Kodi anzako a m’kalasi mwanu amakonda gemu iti?

● Chimachitika n’chiyani m’gemu imeneyo?

● Ukuganiza kuti n’chifukwa chiyani aliyense amakonda kwambiri gemuyo?

Mukhoza kudabwa kuti mwana wanu amadziwa zambiri pa nkhani ya magemu apakompyuta mwina kuposanso mmene mumaganizira. N’kutheka kuti wakhala akusewera magemu amene inuyo mumaona kuti si abwino. Ngati ndi choncho, musafulumire kukwiya. Umenewu ndi mwayi wanu woti mumuthandize kuti azichita zinthu mozindikira.​—Aheberi 5:14.

Mufunseni mafunso omwe angamuthandize kudziwa chifukwa chake amafuna kusewera magemu osayenera. Mwachitsanzo, mungamufunse kuti:

● Kodi umaona ngati ndiwe wotsalira chifukwa chakuti sitimakuloleza kusewera gemu imene anzako amakonda kusewera?

Achinyamata ena amasewera magemu enaake kuti asamaoneke ngati otsalira akakhala ndi anzawo. Ngati zimenezi n’zimene mwana wanu amachita, ndiye kuti simungakambirane naye nkhaniyi ngati mmene mukanachitira akanakhala kuti amakonda magemu achiwawa kapena azachiwerewere.​—Akolose 4:6.

Koma bwanji ngati mwana wanu amakonda magemu enaake chifukwa chakuti m’magemuwo mumachitika zinthu zinazake zolakwika? Achinyamata ena angayankhe motsimikiza kuti sangachite zimene zimachitika m’magemuwo. Iwo amaganiza kuti: ‘Kuchita zimenezi pakompyuta sikukutanthauza kuti ndingazichitedi pa moyo wanga.’ Ngati mwana wanu ali ndi maganizo ngati amenewa, kambiranani naye Salimo 11:5. Mawu a m’lembali akufotokoza momveka bwino kuti Mulungu samangodana ndi anthu amene amachita zachiwawa koma amadananso ndi anthu amene amakonda zachiwawazo. Mfundo imeneyi ikugwiranso ntchito pa makhalidwe ena amene Mawu a Mulungu amaletsa, kuphatikizapo chiwerewere.​—Salimo 97:10.

Ngati mukuona kuti mwana wanu akhoza kukumana ndi mavuto chifukwa cha magemu apakompyuta, yesani kuchita zotsatirazi:

● Musamamulole kuti azisewera magemuwa ali kwayekha, ngati kuchipinda kwake.

● Ikani malamulo oti azitsatira, mwachitsanzo, asamasewere asanamalize homuweki, kudya kapena zinthu zina zofunika.

● Muthandizeni kumvetsa kufunika kochita masewera olimbitsa thupi m’malo mwa masewera apakompyuta.

● Muzionerera ana anu akamasewera magemuwo komanso zikhoza kukhala bwino kwambiri ngati nthawi zina mutamasewera nawo.

Koma kuti muthe kuwathandiza ana anu kusankha masewera abwino, inuyo muyenera kukhala chitsanzo. Choncho, dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndimaonera mafilimu komanso mapulogalamu otani a pa TV?’ Muyenera kuchita zinthu mosamala kwambiri, chifukwa ngati mumachita zosiyana ndi zimene mumanena anawo adzadziwa.

ONANI BUKU LACHIWIRI, MUTU 30

Kodi ndingatani ngati mwana wanga amagwiritsa ntchito kwambiri foni, kompyuta kapena zipangizo zina zamakono?

Kodi mwana wanu nthawi yambiri amakhala akumvetsera ka MP3 kake, akutumiza komanso kulandira mameseji pafoni kapena amakhala akugwiritsa ntchito intaneti moti samakhala ndi nthawi yokwanira yolankhula nanu? Ngati amachita zimenezi, kodi mungatani?

Mwina mungaganize zongomulanda chipangizocho. Koma musamaganize kuti zipangizo zonse zamakono n’zoipa. Ndipotu n’kutheka kuti panopa inuyo mukugwiritsa ntchito zipangizo zina zamakono zomwe kunalibe m’nthawi ya makolo anu. Choncho, mungachite bwino osamulanda chipangizocho, pokhapokha ngati pali zifukwa zomveka. M’malomwake utengeni kukhala mwayi wanu woti muphunzitse mwana wanuyo kugwiritsa ntchito zipangizo zamakono mwanzeru komanso moyenera. Koma kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi?

Kambiranani naye mfundo izi. Choyamba, muuzeni chimene chikukudetsani nkhawa. Chachiwiri, muzimvetsera akamalankhula. (Miyambo 18:13) Chachitatu, kambiranani zimene mukuona kuti zikhoza kuthandiza. Mukhoza kumuikira malamulo koma musakhwimitsenso zinthu kwambiri. Mtsikana wina, dzina lake Ellen, ananena kuti: “Nthawi ina ndinkakonda kutumiza komanso kulandira mameseji pafoni koma makolo anga sanandilande foniyo. Anangondiikira malamulo basi. Zimene anachitazo zinandithandiza kuti ndisamangokhalira kutumiza mameseji, ngakhale iwowo akachoka.”

Bwanji ngati sakusintha? Musafulumire kuganiza kuti sanamve kapena sakufuna kutsatira malangizo amene mwamuuzawo. M’malomwake, mupatseni nthawi kuti aganizire bwinobwino za nkhaniyi. N’kutheka kuti akugwirizana ndi zimene munanenazo ndipo asintha. Achinyamata ambiri amachita zimene Hailey anachita. Iye anati: “Poyamba ndinakhumudwa makolo anga atandiuza kuti ndimagwiritsa ntchito kwambiri kompyuta. Koma kenako nditaiganizira kwambiri nkhaniyo, ndinaona kuti ankanenadi zoona.”

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 36

KUCHITA ZINTHU PAWEKHA

Kodi mwana wanga ndingamupatse ufulu wambiri bwanji wochita zinthu payekha?

Funso limeneli likhoza kukhala lovuta makamaka mukaganizira zoti munthu aliyense amafunika kuchita zinthu zina payekha. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mwana wanu wamwamuna ali kuchipinda, kodi muyenera kungolowa osagogoda? Ngati mwana wanu wamkazi ataiwala foni yake popita kusukulu, kodi muyenera kuwerenga mameseji ake?

Mafunso amenewa ndi ovuta chifukwa chakuti, monga kholo muli ndi udindo wodziwa zimene zikuchitika pa moyo wa mwana wanu komanso muli ndi udindo womuteteza. Koma dziwani kuti simungamangomulonda kulikonse komwe akupita kapena kuona chilichonse chomwe akuchita. Ndiye kodi mungatani kuti muzikwanitsa udindo wanu bwinobwino?

Choyamba, dziwani kuti, si kuti nthawi zonse wachinyamata akamafuna kuchita zinthu payekha ndiye kuti akuchita zinazake zoipa. Nthawi zambiri zimenezi n’zimene ana amachita akamakula. Kuchita zinthu paokha kumawathandiza achinyamata kuona ngati paokha angathe “kugwiritsa ntchito luntha la kuganiza” polimbana ndi mavuto amene akukumana nawo komanso posankha anthu ocheza nawo. (Aroma 12:1, 2) Kumawathandizanso kuti azitha kuganiza bwino paokha zomwe zingadzawathandize kwambiri akadzakula. Kuchita zinthu paokha kumawapatsanso mwayi woganiza mozama asanasankhe chochita kapena kuyankha mafunso ovuta.​—Miyambo 15:28.

Chachiwiri, dziwani kuti ngati mutamamulonda kwambiri, mwanayo sangasangalale ndipo akhoza kusiya kukumverani. (Aefeso 6:4; Akolose 3:21) Kodi zimenezi zikutanthauza kuti musamafufuze kuti mwana wanu akupanga zotani? Ayi, chifukwa ndi udindo wanu monga makolo. Komabe, cholinga chanu pochita zimenezi chikhale kuthandiza mwanayo kukhala ndi chikumbumtima chophunzitsidwa bwino. (Deuteronomo 6:6, 7; Miyambo 22:6) Choncho, chofunika kwambiri ndi kutsogolera mwanayo m’malo momangomulondalonda.

Chachitatu, kambiranani ndi mwana wanu. Muzimvetsera akamafotokoza maganizo ake ndipo nthawi zina mukhoza kutsatira maganizo akewo. Mwana wanu azidziwa kuti mukhoza kumuloleza kuchitako zinthu zina payekha ngati amachita zinthu mokhulupirika. Fotokozani chilango chimene angalandire ngati sanamvere ndipo muzimupatsadi chilangocho ngati sanachite zimene munagwirizana. Dziwani kuti mukamatsatira mfundo zimenezi mudzakwanitsa kuchita zinthu ziwirizi nthawi imodzi: Kumupatsa mwana wanu ufulu wochita zinthu payekha komanso kukwanitsa udindo wanu monga makolo achikondi.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 3 NDI 15

Kodi ndikufuna kuti mwana wanga adzafike nayo pati sukulu?

“Zochita za aphunzitsi anga zimandikwana.” “Amatipatsa ma homuweki ambirimbiri.” “Sindikhoza n’komwe, ndiye chodzivutitsira n’chiyani?” Chifukwa cha zinthu ngati zimenezi, achinyamata ambiri amafuna kusiyira sukulu panjira asanaphunzire zinthu zimene zikhoza kudzawathandiza pa moyo wawo. Kodi mungatani ngati mwana wanu akufuna kusiyira sukulu panjira? Mungachite zotsatirazi:

● Dzifufuzeni inuyo choyamba. Kodi muli wachinyamata munkaona kuti kupita kusukulu ndi kungotaya nthawi moti munkangoona kuchedwa kuti mumalize sukulu n’kuyamba kuchita zinthu zina zofunika? Ngati ndi choncho, n’kutheka kuti ana anu atengeranso maganizo anuwo. Koma dziwani kuti kumaliza sukulu n’kofunika chifukwa kudzawathandiza kukhala ndi “nzeru zopindulitsa ndiponso kuganiza bwino,” zomwe zidzawathandize kuti akwaniritse zolinga zawo.​—Miyambo 3:21.

● Muziwapatsa zinthu zofunikira. Ana ena amene akhoza kumachita bwino kusukulu sadziwa mmene angawerengere kapenanso alibe zinthu zofunikira kapena malo abwino owerengera. Malo abwino owerengera ayenera kukhala owala bwino, pakhale mabuku okwanira ofufuzira komanso pasakhale zinthu zambirimbiri. Mukhozanso kuthandiza mwana wanu kuti azikhoza bwino kusukulu komanso kukonda zinthu zauzimu pomupatsa malo abwino oti azitha kusinkhasinkha zinthu zatsopano zimene waphunzira.​—Yerekezerani ndi 1 Timoteyo 4:15.

● Muziyesetsa kumuthandiza. Muziona aphunzitsi ndiponso anthu amene amapereka malangizo monga anzanu, osati ngati adani anu. Muzidziwa mayina awo komanso muzicheza nawo. Muzikambirana nawo zolinga za mwana wanu komanso mavuto amene akukumana nawo. Ngati mwana wanu sakukhoza bwino, yesetsani kudziwa chimene chikumuchititsa zimenezi. Mwachitsanzo, kodi mwana wanu amaona kuti akamakhoza bwino anzake akhoza kuyamba kumuvutitsa? Kodi sagwirizana ndi aphunzitsi enaake? Kodi pali zinazake zimene sanaphunzire kapena sanazimvetse zomwe zikupangitsa kuti azivutika kumvetsa zimene akuphunzira panopo? Ngati zilipo, mungachite bwino kumuthandiza. Mungafufuzenso zinthu zina zimene zikumulepheretsa kukhoza bwino, mwina angakhale ndi vuto la maso kapena kuvutika kuphunzira zinthu.

Mukamayesetsa kuthandiza mwana wanu, pa nkhani ya maphunziro komanso pa zinthu zauzimu, zidzakhala zosavuta kuti zinthu ziyambe kumuyendera bwino.​—Salimo 127:4, 5.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 19

Kodi ndingadziwe bwanji kuti mwana wanga ndi wokonzeka kukakhala payekha?

Serena, yemwe tamutchula m’Mutu 7 m’bukuli amaopa kukakhala payekha. Pofotokoza chinthu chimodzi chimene amaopera kukakhala payekha, iye anati: “Ndikafuna kugula chinachake ndi ndalama zanga, bambo anga amandiletsa. Amati ndi udindo wawo kundigulira zimene ndikufuna. Ndiye ndikaganiza zoti ndikadzachoka pakhomo pa makolo anga ndizidzafunika kugula komanso kulipira zinthu ndekha, ndimaopa chifukwa sindinachitepo zimenezi.” N’zoona kuti bambo ake a Serena amachita zimenezi ndi zolinga zabwino. Koma kodi akumuthandiza kuti azidzatha kupeza zinthu zonse zofunikira akadzayamba kukhala payekha?​—Miyambo 31:10, 18, 27.

Kodi ana anu mumawachitira chilichonse moti sangathe kukakhala paokha? Kodi mungadziwe bwanji kuti ndi okonzeka kukakhala paokha? Onani mfundo 4 zotsatirazi, zomwe zinatchulidwanso m’Mutu 7 pansi pa kamutu kakuti, “Kodi Ndine Wokonzeka Kukakhala Pandekha?” Koma monga makolo, nanunso mukufunika kuganizira mfundozi.

Kusunga ndalama. Kodi ana anu akuluakulu amadziwa zimene ayenera kuchita potsatira malamulo pa nkhani yopereka misonkho? (Aroma 13:7) Kodi amachita zinthu mwanzeru ngati ali ndi ngongole? (Miyambo 22:7) Kodi amatha kupanga bajeti komanso kuchita zinthu mogwirizana ndi ndalama zimene amapeza? (Luka 14:28-30) Kodi akudziwa mmene munthu amasangalalira akagula chinthu ndi ndalama zomwe anazigwirira ntchito yekha? Kodi akudziwa mmene munthu amasangalalira akagwiritsa ntchito nthawi yake komanso zinthu zake kuthandiza anthu ena?​—Machitidwe 20:35.

Ntchito zapakhomo. Kodi ana anu aakazi komanso aamuna amatha kuphika? Kodi munawaphunzitsa kuchapa komanso kusita zovala? Ngati amayendetsa galimoto, kodi amatha kusintha oyilo kapena kusintha theyala komanso kukonza zinthu zina zing’onozing’ono?

Kukhala bwino ndi anthu ena. Ana anu akuluakulu akakangana, kodi nthawi zonse mumalowererapo kuti muthetse nkhaniyo? Kodi munawaphunzitsa kuti azikambirana n’kuthetsa nkhaniyo mwamtendere kenako n’kukuuzani nkhaniyo itatha kale?​—Mateyu 5:23-25.

Kuchita zinthu zauzimu. Kodi ana anu amangokhulupirira zimene mumawauza kapena mumawaphunzitsa moti amazikhulupirira chifukwa chakuti anakhutira ndi zimene anaphunzirazo? (2 Timoteyo 3:14, 15) Kodi mumawaphunzitsa kuti “azitha kuganiza bwino” paokha m’malo moti nthawi zonse azifunsa inuyo akakhala ndi funso pa nkhani za m’Baibulo kapena za makhalidwe abwino? (Miyambo 1:4) Kodi mungakonde kuti adzatengere chitsanzo chanu cha mmene mumaphunzirira Baibulo kapena mungakonde kuti adzachite zoposa pamenepo?c

N’zoona kuti zimatenga nthawi komanso khama kwambiri kuti ana aphunzire mfundo zili pamwambazi. Koma mudzasangalala kwambiri akamadzachoka pakhomo kuti akukakhala paokha chifukwa mudzadziwa kuti munawaphunzitsa zonse zofunikira.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 7

KUGONANA KOMANSO CHIBWENZI

Kodi ndizikambirana ndi mwana wanga nkhani zogonana?

Masiku ano ana amayamba kudziwa nkhani zogonana ali aang’ono kwambiri. Baibulo linaneneratu kale kuti “masiku otsiriza adzakhala nthawi yapadera komanso yovuta,” ndipo anthu adzakhala “osadziletsa” komanso “okonda zosangalatsa, m’malo mokonda Mulungu.” (2 Timoteyo 3:1, 3, 4) Anthu ambiri amagonana pongofuna kuthandizana ndipo chimenechi ndi chimodzi mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti ulosi umenewu ukukwaniritsidwa.

Panopa zinthu zasintha kwambiri poyerekeza ndi nthawi imene munali wachinyamata. Koma zinthu zimene zimasokoneza achinyamata sizinasinthe. Choncho, musachite mantha kapena kuda nkhawa kwambiri ndi zinthu zimene zingasokoneze ana anu. M’malomwake, khalani ndi mtima wofuna kuwathandiza kuchita zimene mtumwi Paulo anauza Akhristu zaka 2,000 zapitazo. Iye anati: “Valani zida zonse zankhondo zochokera kwa Mulungu kuti musasunthike polimbana ndi zochita zachinyengo za Mdyerekezi.” (Aefeso 6:11) Chosangalatsa n’chakuti, Akhristu ambiri achinyamata akuyesetsa kumenya nkhondo kuti azichita zoyenera ngakhale kuti pali zinthu zambiri zimene zikhoza kuwasokoneza. Kodi mungawathandize bwanji ana anu kuti nawonso akwanitse kuchita zimenezi?

Njira imodzi imene mungatsatire ndi kukambirana nawo pogwiritsa ntchito mitu ina ya m’Gawo 4 la bukuli komanso Gawo 1 ndi 7 m’Buku Lachiwiri. Mituyi ili ndi malemba othandiza munthu kuganiza. Malemba ena akusonyeza zitsanzo za anthu amene anayesetsa kuchita zoyenera ndipo anadalitsidwa, pomwe ena akusonyeza zitsanzo za anthu amene sanamvere malamulo a Mulungu komanso mavuto amene anakumana nawo. Malemba ena ali ndi mfundo zomwe zingathandize ana anu kudziwa madalitso amene inuyo komanso iwowo angapeze chifukwa chotsatira malamulo a Mulungu. Mungachite bwino kukonza zoti mukambirane mitu imeneyi posachedwapa.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 23, 25 NDI 32 KOMANSO BUKU LACHIWIRI, MUTU 4-6, 28 NDI 29

Kodi ndingamulole mwana wanga kuti akhale ndi chibwenzi?

Ana anu akadzafika pa msinkhu winawake adzayamba kuganiza zokhala ndi chibwenzi. Phillip ananena kuti: “Tiatsikana tina timachita kundifunsira tokha ndipo ndimadzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi nditani pamenepa?’ Zimakhala zovuta kukana chifukwa ena mwa atsikanawa amakhala okongola kwambiri.”

Chinthu chanzeru chimene mungachite ngati makolo ndi kukambirana ndi mwana wanu nkhani ya zibwenzi. Mwina mungagwiritse ntchito Mutu 1, m’Buku Lachiwiri. Dziwani mavuto amene mwana wanu akukumana nawo kusukulu kapena kumpingo komanso mmene amawaonera mavutowo. Nthawi zina mungakambirane naye nkhaniyi pamene mukungocheza ‘mutakhala pansi m’nyumba mwanu’ komanso “poyenda pamsewu.” (Deuteronomo 6:6, 7) Kaya mwasankha kukambirana nkhaniyi pophunzira kapena pamene mukungocheza, kumbukirani mfundo yakuti muyenera kukhala “wofulumira kumva, wodekha polankhula.”​—Yakobo 1:19.

Ngati mwana wanu wakuuzani kuti akufuna atakhala pachibwenzi ndi mnyamata kapena mtsikana winawake, musakhumudwe. Mtsikana wina ananena kuti: “Bambo anga atangodziwa kuti ndili ndi chibwenzi, anakhumudwa kwambiri. Anandiopseza pondifunsa mafunso ambirimbiri ngati ndakonzeka kukhala pabanja. Ukakhala wamng’ono n’kumafunsidwa mafunso ngati amenewo zimakupangitsa kuti ukakamizike kupitirizabe chibwenzicho mpaka kudzakwatirana n’cholinga choti uwasonyeze makolo akowo kuti anali ndi maganizo olakwika.”

Ngati mwana wanu amadziwa kuti simungakambirane nkhani ya chibwenzi, akhoza kumachita chibwenzi mobisa. Mtsikana wina ananena kuti: “Makolo akakhumudwa kapena kukwiya kwambiri kuti mwana wawo ali ndi chibwenzi, m’pamene mwana amayamba kubisa kwambiri za chibwenzicho.”

Zinthu zikhoza kumayenda bwino kwambiri ngati mumamasuka kukambirana ndi ana anu. Brittany, wazaka 20, anati: “Kuyambira kalekale makolo anga akhala akundifotokozera momasuka nkhani za zibwenzi. M’pofunika kuti azidziwa munthu amene ndakopeka naye ndipo ndimaona kuti zimenezi n’zabwino. Bambo anga amakalankhula naye ndipo ngati aona vuto linalake amandiuza. Nthawi zambiri asanafike pondifunsira ndimakhala nditasankhiratu kuti sindimulola.”

Pambuyo powerenga Mutu 2, m’Buku Lachiwiri, mwina mungadzifunse kuti, ‘Kodi sizingatheke kuti mwana wanga ali ndi chibwenzi koma akundibisira?’ Onani mawu ali m’munsiwa omwe akusonyeza chifukwa chake achinyamata ena amabisa zoti ali ndi chibwenzi, kenako ganizirani za mafunso omwe ali m’munsi mwake.

“Ana ena samasangalala ndi zimene zimachitika kunyumba kwawo ndiye amaona kuti munthu wabwino woti angamudalire ndi chibwenzi chawo.”​—Anatero Wendy.

Monga kholo, kodi mungatani kuti ana anu azikhala osangalala? Kodi mukuona kuti pali zinthu zimene mungachite kuti ana anu azisangalala? Kodi mungasinthe zinthu ziti?

“Ndili ndi zaka 14, mnyamata wina anandifunsira ndipo ndinalola. Ndinkaona kuti n’zosangalatsa kukhala ndi chibwenzi choti chizikugwira m’khosi.”​—Anatero Diane.

Zikanakhala kuti Diane ndi mwana wanu, kodi mukanamuthandiza bwanji?

“Foni za m’manja zimathandiza kuti zikhale zophweka kubisa zoti uli ndi chibwenzi. Makolo sadziwa zomwe ukuchita.”​—Anatero Annette.

Kodi mungachite chiyani kuti ana anu azigwiritsa ntchito foni moyenera?

“Kubisa zoti uli ndi chibwenzi kumakhala kophweka ngati makolo alibe chidwi ndi zimene ana awo akuchita pafoni komanso ngati samakhala ndi chidwi choti adziwe kuti anawo akulankhula ndi ndani.”​—Anatero Thomas.

Kodi mungatani kuti muzidziwa zimene mwana wanu akuchita komabe n’kumamupatsa ufulu woyenerera?

“Nthawi zambiri ana amangokhala okha pakhomo. Kapena zimatheka kuti makolo awo alipo koma amangowalekerera kutengana ndi anzawo n’kupita kulikonse komwe akufuna.”​—Anatero Nicholas.

Ganizirani za anthu amene mwana wanu amacheza nawo kwambiri. Kodi mumadziwa kuti amacheza zotani akakhala ndi ana anu?

“Ngati makolo amakhwimitsa zinthu kwambiri, ana awo akhoza kuyamba kuchita chibwenzi mobisa.”​—Anatero Paul.

Popanda kunyalanyaza malamulo komanso mfundo za m’Baibulo, kodi mungatani kuti ana anu “adziwe kuti ndinu ololera”?—Afilipi 4:5.

“Ndili ndi zaka pafupifupi 15, ndinkadzikayikira kwambiri ndipo ndinkalakalaka kupeza munthu amene angamandimvetse. Ndinayamba kutumizirana maimelo ndi mnyamata wa mumpingo woyandikana nawo, kenako tinayamba kukondana. Ndinkaona kuti amandiganizira kwambiri.”​—Anatero Linda.

Kodi mukuganiza kuti pali zimene zikanathandiza kuti Linda apeze zimene akufuna kunyumba kwawo komweko?

Mungachite bwino kugwiritsa ntchito Mutu 2, m’Buku Lachiwiri komanso Zakumapetozi kuti mupeze mfundo zoyenera kukambirana ndi mwana wanu. Chinthu chimene chingathandize kwambiri kuthetsa vuto lochita zinthu mobisa ndi kukambirana momasuka komanso moona mtima.​—Miyambo 20:5.

ONANI BUKU LACHIWIRI, MUTU 1-3

MMENE UKUMVERA

Kodi ndingatani ngati mwana wanga wanena kuti akufuna kudzipha?

N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti m’mayiko ena, ana ambiri amadzipha. Mwachitsanzo, ku United States, kudzipha kuli pa nambala 3 pa imfa zonse za achinyamata azaka zapakati pa 15 ndi 25. Ndipo pa zaka 20 zapitazi, chiwerengero cha ana azaka zapakati pa 10 ndi 14 omwe amadzipha chawirikiza kawiri. Achinyamata amene nthawi zambiri amadzipha ndi amene amadwala matenda amaganizo, amene abale awo anadzipha komanso amene pa nthawi inayake anayesapo kudzipha. Zina mwa zizindikiro zosonyeza kuti wachinyamata akufuna kudzipha ndi:

● Kusakonda kucheza ndi abale ake komanso anzake

● Kusintha mmene amadyera komanso mmene amagonera

● Kusiya kukonda zinthu zimene ankazikonda poyamba

● Kusintha kwambiri khalidwe lake

● Kugwiritsa ntchito mankhwala osokoneza bongo kapena kumwa mowa mopitirira muyezo

● Kupatsa ena zinthu zimene ankazitenga kuti ndi zamtengo wapatali

● Kukonda kulankhula, kuwerenga kapena kumvetsera nkhani zokhudza imfa

Kungakhale kulakwitsa kwambiri ngati kholo litanyalanyaza zizindikiro zimenezi. Palibe chizindikiro chofunika kuchiona mopepuka. Musafulumire kuganiza kuti mwanayo akuchita zimenezi chifukwa cha chibwana chabe kenako asiya.

Komanso musachite manyazi kupempha thandizo ngati mwana wanu akudwala matenda amaganizo kapena ngati akuvutika kwambiri ndi nkhawa. Ndipo ngati mukukayikira kuti mwana wanu ali ndi maganizo ofuna kudzipha, kambiranani naye zimenezo. Zimene anthu amanena zoti wachinyamata mukamakambirana naye zodzipha, amadziphadi n’zabodza. Achinyamata ambiri amamasuka ngati makolo awo ayambitsa zokambirana nkhaniyi. Choncho, ngati mwana wanu wavomera zoti akufuna kudzipha, fufuzani ngati wakonza kale njira yodziphera ndipo ngati wachitadi zimenezi, fufuzani ngati wapeza kale zinthu zonse zoti adzipherezo. Ngati mwanayo wapeza kale zinthu zoti adziphere komanso nthawi yoti achitire zimenezi, ndiye kuti mukufunika kuchitapo kanthu mwamsanga.

Musaganize kuti mtima wake ukhala m’malo paokha. Ndipo ngati akuoneka ngati mtima wake wakhala m’malo, musaganize kuti vutolo latha. Dziwani kuti imeneyi ndi imene imakhala nthawi yoopsa kwambiri. N’chifukwa chiyani tikutero? Chifukwa chakuti wachinyamata akakhala kuti wakhumudwa kwambiri, samakhala ndi mphamvu zoti n’kudzipha. Koma mtima wake ukayamba kukhala m’malo amapeza mphamvu moti akhoza kudzipha.

N’zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri kuti achinyamata ena amadzipha chifukwa cha mavuto amene akukumana nawo. Koma ngati makolo komanso anthu ena achikulire atakhala ndi chidwi ndi zizindikiro zimene zimakhalapo, akhoza ‘kulankhula molimbikitsa kwa amtima wachisoni,’ ndipo zimenezi zingathandize kuti akhale ngati malo awo obisalirapo.​—1 Atesalonika 5:14.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 13 NDI 14 KOMANSO BUKU LACHIWIRI, MUTU 26

Kodi ndi bwino kubisira ana anga zoti ndili ndi chisoni?

Munthu amakhala ndi chisoni chachikulu mwamuna kapena mkazi wake akamwalira. Koma pamene mumakhala ndi chisoni chonchi, m’pamenenso mwana wanu amafunika kumulimbikitsa. Ndiye kodi mungamuthandize bwanji kupirira chisoni chake kwinaku musakunyalanyaza chisoni chimene inuyo muli nacho? Mungayese zotsatirazi:

● Musamabise chisoni chanu. Mwana wanu waphunzira zambiri pa moyo wake poona zimene inuyo mumachita. Ndipo angaphunzirenso zoyenera kuchita akakhala ndi chisoni potengera zimene inuyo mukuchita. Choncho, musaganize kuti mungathandize mwana wanu ngati mutabisa zoti muli ndi chisoni. Zimenezi zingachititse mwana wanuyo kuyamba kubisa akakhala ndi chisoni. Koma ngati mutasonyeza mmene mukumvera, mwana wanu angaone kuti ndi bwino kuti nayenso azisonyeza mmene akumvera m’malo modzilimbitsa. Angaphunzirenso kuti n’zachibadwa kukhumudwa kapena kukwiya nthawi zina.

● Muzimulimbikitsa mwana wanu kufotokoza mmene akumvera. Muzimulimbikitsa kufotokoza zimene zili mumtima mwake, koma muzisamala kuti asaone ngati mukuchita kumupanikiza. Ngati zikuoneka ngati sakufuna, mungachite bwino kukambirana naye Mutu 16 wa m’bukuli. Komanso mungachite bwino kufotokoza zinthu zosangalatsa zimene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo ankachita. Fotokozani kuti nanunso zikukuvutani kuti muzichita zinthu bwinobwino. Ngati mwana wanu atamva mukufotokoza mmene mukumvera, zingamulimbikitse kuti nayenso azifotokoza mmene akumvera.

● Zindikirani zimene simungakwanitse kuchita. N’kutheka kuti mukufuna kumuthandiza mwana wanu kupirira pa nthawi yovutayi ndipo zimenezi n’zomveka. Koma kumbukirani kuti inuyo mukuvutikanso maganizo chifukwa cha imfa ya mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu yemwe munkamukonda. N’kutheka kuti panopa mulibe mphamvu zokwanira kapena nzeru zoti n’kuthandizira munthu wina. (Miyambo 24:10) Choncho, mungachite bwino kupempha thandizo kwa wachibale wina wachikulire kapena mnzanu. Kupempha thandizo ndi umboni wakuti ndinu munthu woganiza bwino. Lemba la Miyambo 11:2 limati: “Nzeru zimakhala ndi anthu odzichepetsa.”

Thandizo labwino kwambiri limachokera kwa Yehova Mulungu yemwe amalonjeza anthu amene amamulambira kuti: “Ine, Yehova Mulungu wako, ndagwira dzanja lako lamanja. Ine amene ndikukuuza kuti, ‘Usachite mantha. Ineyo ndikuthandiza.’”​—Yesaya 41:13.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 16

Kodi ndingathandize bwanji mwana wanga wamkazi kuti azidya moyenera?

Kodi mungatani ngati mwana wanu wamkazi wayamba kudzimana kwambiri chakudya?d Choyamba, fufuzani chimene chamuchititsa kuti ayambe zimenezi.

Zikuoneka kuti anthu ambiri amene amadzimana kwambiri chakudya amachita zimenezi chifukwa amadziona ngati osakongola komanso amakhala ndi maganizo ofuna kuchita zinthu zonse molondola ndipo amadzipanikiza n’cholinga choti aoneke mmene akufunira. Samalani kuti musawawonjezere maganizo amenewa. Muyenera kuchita zinthu zimene zingamulimbikitse mwana wanuyo.​—1 Atesalonika 5:11.

Ganiziraninso mofatsa mmene inuyo mumadyera komanso mmene mumaonera thupi lanu. Kodi mosadziwa mwakhala mukuchita zinthu kapena kulankhula mawu osonyeza kuti mumafuna kukhala wochepa thupi kwambiri? Kumbukirani kuti achinyamata amada nkhawa kwambiri za mmene akuonekera. Choncho, musamawagemule za thupi lawo powanena kuti ndi duntu chifukwa zimenezi zingachititse kuti ayambe kumadziona kuti ndi osakongola.

Pambuyo poti mwaiganizira komanso kuipempherera nkhaniyi, kambiranani moona mtima ndi mwana wanuyo. Pokambiranapo mungatsatire mfundo zotsatirazi:

● Konzekerani mosamala zimene mukufuna kunena komanso nthawi imene mungazinene.

● Fotokozani momveka bwino zimene zikukudetsani nkhawa komanso kuti mukufunitsitsa kumuthandiza.

● Musadabwe ngati poyamba ataoneka kuti akudziikira kumbuyo.

● Muzimumvetsera modekha.

Koposa zonse, yesetsani kumuthandiza mwana wanuyo kuthana ndi vuto lakelo. Banja lonse lingachite bwino kumuthandiza kulimbana ndi vutolo.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 10 NDI BUKU LACHIWIRI, MUTU 7

MOYO WAUZIMU

Pamene ana anga akukula, kodi ndingapitirize bwanji kuwaphunzitsa mfundo za m’Baibulo?

Baibulo limanena kuti Timoteyo anaphunzitsidwa zinthu zauzimu kuyambira ali “wakhanda” ndipo inuyo monga kholo, n’kutheka kuti mwakhalanso mukuchita zimenezi ndi ana anu. (2 Timoteyo 3:15) Koma pamene ana anu akukula, mumayenera kusintha mmene mumawaphunzitsira kuti zigwirizane ndi mmene moyo wawo ulili. Ana akakula amayamba kumvetsa mfundo zovuta zimene poyamba sankazimvetsa bwinobwino. Choncho, pa nthawi imeneyi muyenera kuwaphunzitsa m’njira yogwirizana ndi “luntha [lawo] la kuganiza.”​—Aroma 12:1.

M’kalata imene Paulo analembera Timoteyo anatchulamo za zinthu zimene Timoteyo ‘anaphunzira ndi zimene anakhulupirira pambuyo pokhutira nazo.’ (2 Timoteyo 3:14) Msinkhu umene ana anu afikawu, muyenera kuwaphunzitsa m’njira yakuti ‘akhutire’ ndi mfundo za m’Baibulo zimene akhala akuzidziwa kuyambira ali ana. Kuti muwafike pamtima, simuyenera kungowauza zoyenera kuchita kapena zoyenera kuzikhulupirira. Ayenera kumaphunzira paokha. Kodi mungawathandize bwanji kuchita zimenezi? Yambani ndi kuwapatsa nthawi yokwanira yoti aganizire komanso kufotokoza maganizo awo pa mafunso ngati awa:

● N’chiyani chimandichititsa kutsimikiza zoti kuli Mulungu?​—Aroma 1:20.

● Kodi ndimadziwa bwanji kuti mfundo za m’Baibulo zimene makolo anga amandiphunzitsa n’zoona?​—Machitidwe 17:11.

● N’chiyani chimandithandiza kuona kuti mfundo za m’Baibulo n’zothandiza kwa ineyo?​—Yesaya 48:17, 18.

● N’chiyani chimandipangitsa kutsimikizira kuti maulosi a m’Baibulo adzakwaniritsidwa?​—Yoswa 23:14.

● N’chiyani chimandipangitsa kuona kuti ‘kudziwa Khristu Yesu Ambuye wanga, ndi chinthu chamtengo wapatali kwambiri’ kuposa chinthu china chilichonse m’dzikoli?​—Afilipi 3:8.

● Kodi ineyo ndimaiona bwanji nsembe ya dipo ya Khristu?​—2 Akorinto 5:14, 15; Agalatiya 2:20.

Mwina poyamba mungakayikire zowafunsa ana anuwo mafunso amenewa poganiza kuti sangakwanitse kuyankha. Koma kuchita zimenezi kuli ngati kuopa kuona mafuta amene atsala m’galimoto yanu poopa kuti mungapeze kuti atsala pang’ono kutha. Ngati mutadziwa kuti mafutawo atsala pang’ono kutha, mungakhale ndi mwayi wowonjezera ena zisanafike poipa. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, popeza ana anu adakali pakhomopo, ndi nthawi yabwino yoti muwathandize kufufuza mayankho a mafunso okhudza chikhulupiriro chawo kuti ‘akhulupirire pambuyo pokhutira.’e

Kumbukirani kuti, si kulakwa ngati mwana wanu atafunsa kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani timakhulupirira zakutizakuti?” Diane, wazaka 22, amakumbukira kuti nayenso anafunsapo zimenezi nthawi ina. Iye ananena kuti: “Sindinkafuna kuti ndizikayikira zinthu zimene ndimakhulupirira. Kupeza mayankho omveka bwino komanso ogwira mtima kunandithandiza kuti ndizisangalala kuti ndine wa Mboni za Yehova. Munthu akandifunsa chifukwa chimene sindimachitira zinazake, m’malo momuyankha kuti, ‘Amatiletsa kutchalitchi kwathu,’ ndimamuyankha kuti ‘Ndimaona kuti sizoyenera.’ Mwachidule ndinganene kuti, ndinasankha kuti ndizikhulupirira zimene Baibulo limaphunzitsa.”

Zimene mungachite: Pofuna kudziwa mmene mwana wanu amaonera mfundo za m’Baibulo, muuzeni kuti ayerekezere kukhala ngati kholo. Mwachitsanzo, tiyerekeze kuti mwana wanu wamkazi akukupemphani kuti akufuna kupita kupate imene inuyo mukudziwa (mwinanso iyeyo akudziwa) kuti sayenera kupita. M’malo mongomukaniza, mungamuuze kuti: ‘Ndikufuna kuti udziyerekeze kuti iweyo ndi kholo ndipo ineyo ndine mwana wako. Ndiye uganizire za pate imene ukufuna kupitayo komanso ufufuze (mwina Mutu 37 m’bukuli komanso Mutu 32, m’Buku Lachiwiri), kenako tidzakambirane mawa. Ineyo ndidzakhala ngati mwana ndipo ndidzakupempha kuti ndipite kupateko. Iweyo udzakhala ngati kholo ndipo udzandiyankhe ngati ukuona kuti ndi bwino kuti ndipite kapena ayi.’

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 38 NDI BUKU LACHIWIRI, MUTU 34-36

Kodi tingathandize bwanji mwana wathu ngati wasiya kukonda zinthu zauzimu?

Choyamba, musafulumire kuganiza kuti mwana wanu sakugwirizana ndi zimene mumakhulupirira. Nthawi zambiri pamakhala chinachake chimene chikumuchititsa kuti asamakondenso zinthu zauzimu. Mwachitsanzo, mwina

● Anzake akumamuseka ndiye sakufuna kumaoneka wosiyana ndi anzake chifukwa chakuti iyeyo amatsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo

● Akumaona kuti achinyamata anzake (mwinanso azibale ake) akuchita bwino kwambiri pa zinthu zauzimu ndipo akuona ngati sangakwanitse kuchita zimene iwowo amachita

● Akufunitsitsa atapeza anzake oti azicheza nawo koma amaona kuti sangapeze mnzake ngakhale mumpingo

● Amaona achinyamata ena omwe amati ndi Akhristu akuchita zinthu zimene Akhristu sayenera kuchita

● Akufunitsitsa kukhala ndi mfundo zimene azizitsatira pa moyo wake ndipo zimenezi zachititsa kuti azikayikira mfundo zimene inuyo mumaziona kuti ndi zofunika kwambiri

● Amaona anzake akusukulu akuchita zinthu zambiri zoipa ndipo amaoneka kuti sakukumana ndi vuto lililonse

● Akufuna kusangalatsa kholo lomwe si la Mboni

Dziwani kuti zimene mwana wanu akuchitazo sizikusonyeza kuti akudana ndi zimene mumakhulupirira. Vuto limene lilipo ndi lakuti akukumana ndi zinthu zimene zikumuchititsa kuona kuti kutsatira zimene mumakhulupirira n’kovuta. Ndiyeno mungatani kuti mumuthandize?

Muzilolera koma musamasinthe mfundo zanu. Dziwani chimene chikumuchititsa kuti asamakonde zinthu zauzimu ndipo mungachite bwino kusintha zinthu zina kuti muthandize mwana wanuyo kuyambiranso kukonda zinthu zauzimu. (Miyambo 16:20) Mwachitsanzo, bokosi lakuti, “Mmene Mungakonzekerere” patsamba 132 ndi 133, m’Buku Lachiwiri, lingathandize mwana wanu kuchita zinthu molimba mtima kuti asamachite manyazi anzake akusukulu akamamukakamiza kuchita zinazake. Ngati mwana wanu amasowa wocheza naye, mungamuthandize kuti apeze anthu abwino oti azicheza nawo.

Pezani munthu woti azimulimbikitsa. Nthawi zina achinyamata amatha kusintha ngati munthu wina wachikulire akuwalimbikitsa. Kodi mukudziwapo munthu wina amene amakonda zinthu zauzimu amene akhoza kumulimbikitsa mwana wanuyo? Ngati alipo, mungachite bwino kukonza zoti azicheza ndi mwana wanu. Koma si kuti cholinga chanu pochita zimenezi ndi kusiyira munthuyo udindo umene muli nawo monga kholo. Ganizirani chitsanzo cha Timoteyo. Iye anaphunzira zinthu zambiri kwa mtumwi Paulo ndipo nayenso mtumwi Paulo anapindula kwambiri chifukwa choyenda ndi Timoteyo.​—Afilipi 2:20, 22.

Ngati mwanayo akukhalabe pakhomopo ndiye kuti akufunika kumatsatira pulogalamu yochitira zinthu zauzimu imene inuyo mumatsatira. Koma cholinga chanu pochita zimenezi chikhale kumuthandiza kuti azikonda Mulungu kuchokera pansi pa mtima, osati kumangochita zinthu mwamwambo. Inuyo muyenera kumakonda choonadi kuti mwana wanuyo atengere chitsanzo chanu. Musamayembekezere zimene mwanayo sangakwanitse. Mupezereni munthu woti azimulimbikitsa komanso muthandizeni kupeza anthu abwino ocheza nawo. N’kutheka kuti kuchita zimenezi kungachititse kuti mwana wanuyo m’tsogolo adzalankhule ngati mmene wamasalimo ananenera kuti: “Yehova ndiye thanthwe langa, malo anga achitetezo ndiponso Wopereka chipulumutso kwa ine.”​—Salimo 18:2.

ONANI BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 39 NDI BUKU LACHIWIRI, MUTU 37 NDI 38

[Mawu a M’munsi]