Kutaura Kusingagoni Kunyaradza Nguva Dzose

KANA wakambonzwa nhamo huru, dzimwe nguva wakakuvadzwa namashoko akataurwa navamwe here? Kunyange vanhu vazhinjisa vachiratidzira havo kuva vanoziva zvokutaura kupa nyaradzo, vanhu vazhinji vakafirwa vanogona kuyeuka mashoko asina kubetsera. Ursula Mommsen-Henneberger, achinyora murinonzi Kieler Nachrichten rechiGerman, akataura kuti vamwe vabereki “vanokuvadzwa zvikurukuru apo vokunze vanotaura, kuti: ‘Asika iwe uchine vamwe vana, hauna here?’” Iye anopindura, kuti: “Vamwe vangava nyaradzo asi havazati vari chitsivo.”

Mupi zano wezvokufirwa Kathleen Capitulo akaudza Mukai!, kuti: “Kumwe kutaura kunoda kudziviswa ndouku, ‘Ndinoziva kuti muri kunzwa sei.’ Zvokwadi yenhau ndeyokuti hakuna munhu anoziva chaizvoizvo izvo mumwe munhu ari kunzwa. Zvisinei, unogona kusimbisa zvavari kunzwa. Unogona kuvasimbisira kuti kunzwa kwavo ndokwomuzvarirwo.”

Abe Malawski, sezvinoshumwa mubhuku rinonzi Recovering From the Loss of a Child, “anokurangarira zvikurukuru kuti kunoda mumwe munhu uyo akarashikirwa nomwana kuziva chiri kurashikirwa nomwana.” Iye akati: “Unogona kuva navana vane gumi navashanu, uye hakuzati kuchiita musiano. Hautongogoni kutsiva mwana.”

Muchinoitika chokupfupfudzika pamuviri kana kuti kubereka gambe, kumwe kutaura, kunyange zvazvo kungava kwapachokwadi, kusati kuchishanda ndouku: “Iwe uchakurumidza kuva nemimba zvakare ndokukanganwa ikoku kwose.” “Kuri nani zvikuru nenzira iyeyo. Zvisinei mwanayo aizodai akaremara.” “Chikomborero mukubata kumeso.” Muchinguvana chitambudzo chokurasikirwa, uku kutaura, kunyange zvazvo kungave kunosanorongedzerwa zvakadini, hakugoni kupedza kurwadziwa.

Kutaura kunorwadza kworudzidziso kunopiwa navamwe vakuru vakuru vorudzidziso ndikumwe kunoshatirisa kuna vananyakufirwa. Kutaura kuti ‘Mwari akanga achida imwe ngirozi’ kunoratidzira Mwari saane utsinye uye saane udyire uye kunoparira kunyomba. Kupfuurirazve, hakuna tsigiro ine mufungo kana kuti iri muBhaibheri.

Ko MuKristu Anofanira Kuchema Here?

Zvakadiniko namaKristu anorashikirwa nomwana murufu? Padzimwe nguva vamwe vanonokora mashoko aPauro kuvaTesaronika: “Imi hamuzati muchifanira kuchema savamwe vasara vavanhu, vasina tariro.” (1 VaTesaronika 4:13, New English Bible) Ko Pauro akarambidza kuchema nokurira here? Aiwa, iye akangotaura bedzi kuti muKristu ane tariro haasati achidikanirwa kuchema nomutoo mumwe chetewo saavo vasina tariro.—Johane 5:28, 29.

Kuenzanisira iri pfundo, ko Jesu akaita sei apo Maria akamuudza kuti Razaro akanga afa? Nhauro yacho inotizivisa, kuti: “Naizvozvo, apo Jesu akaona [Maria] achichema navaJudha vakauya naye vachichema, akafa neshungu mumudzimu ndokutambudzika.” Ipapo, apo iye akaendeswa uko munhu akafa akanga arere, Jesu akachema misodzi.” Naizvozvo kuchema hakuna kururama here? Ko kunoratidzira kushaikwa kwokutenda chipikirwa chaMwari chorumuko here? Aiwa, kupfuurezvo kunoratidzira rudo rukuru nokuda kwomunhu wafa.—Johane 11:30-35; enzanisa naJohane 20:11-18.

Kumwe kutaura kunogona kuvhiringidza ndokuye kunoodza mwoyo kunosimbisira nyakufirwa, ‘Nguva ndiye muporesi mukuru zvikuru.’ Uyewo, dzivisa mubvunzo wokuti, “Uchigere kunaya here?” Sokutaura kwakaita mumwe mai wechiBritish, kuti: “Avo vanobvunza kuti, ‘Uchigere kunaya here?’ havanzwisisi chaizvoizvo chiri kurashikirwa nomumwe munhu ari pedyo somwana. Hatizati tichizonaya kutozosvikira tamugamuchirazve murumuko.” Zvimwe mashoko aShakespeare akakodzera, anoti: “Munhu ari wose anogona kudzora nhamo kunze kwaiye unayo.”

Padzimwe nguva baba anova nyajambwa wechimiro chendangariro chokusafunga. Mumwe baba akafirwa akava anoshatirwa apo vanhu vakabvunza, kuti: “Mudzimai wako akadini?” Iye akataura kuti: “Ivo havati vaizotongobvunza kuti murume akadini. . . . Hakuna kururama zvikuru, kunosarudza. Murume anokurangarira sokurangarira kunoita mudzimai. Anotambudzikawo.”

‘Shinga’?

Mumativi mazhinji pfungwa inodzidziswa ndeyokuti varume zvikurukuru havafaniri kuratidzira kunzwa kwavo nenhamo asi vanofanira ‘kushinga.’ Munyori wechiNgezi womuzana ramakore rechi 18 Oliver Goldsmith akataura nezvo“ushingi hwokunyarara panhamo.” Asika ushingi hwokunyarara ihwohwo huri nzira yakanakisisa iri madikanwa here yokupedza nayo nhamo yomunhu?

Mubhuku rinonzi The Bereaved Parent, Harriet Sarnoff Schiff anonokora mashoko chinoitika chomurume wake: “Heuno murume, baba, akaona mwana wake achivigwa uye mukuwirirana nebvumirano akakumbirwa nenzanga ku‘shinga.’” Iye anowedzera, kuti: “Iye akarashikirwa zvikuru nokuda kwokushinga. Nguva zvayakaenderera mberi, panzvimbo pokuratidza mugariro wake mukuchema, iye akaramba achinyura zvikurukuru mukusuruvara.”

Murume akarondedzera kunzwa kwake, uye zvimwe vamwe vanogona kuzvifananidza navo. “Ndinonzwa sokunge kuti ndiri kufamba kumuromoromo kwechando chokuArctic. Ndaneta zvikuru. Ndinoziva kuti kana ndikarara pasi kuti ndizorore ndichavata. Ndinoziva kuti kana ndikavata ndichatonhora kusvikira ndafa. Handina hanya. Handigoni kurwisazve kuneta kwangu.”

Naizvozvo, ndeipi iri pangiro yaHarriet Schiff? “Kukanganwa zvose pamsoro pokutaura kwekare kwakanaka kwoushingi ndokuchema. Rega misodzi ibude . . . inobetsera kusuka rusuruvaro.” Vanyori veSurviving Pregnancy Loss vanopa zano rinoshanda kuvose vari vaviri vakadzi navarume, rokuti: “Ushingi hungayemurwa zvikurukuru navamwe, asi kupfurikidza bedzi nokugonana nenhamo munhu anogona pakupedzisira kuva anosununguka pairi.” (Kutsveyamiswa kwamashoko ndokwedu.) Neimwe inzira, ngozi iripo yokupinda muichi chinonzi “kuchema kusina kuringana,” uku kungava nemiuyo ine ngwavaira kwamakore ano uya.

Kuchema kusina kuringana ndiko kuchema kusina kukwana, apo munhu anodzivisa kuchema munzvimbo mokukubvumira nokuda kwokugamuchira kweparadzano. Kunogona kuzviratidza iko kumene kwedzinenge nzira nhatu—sokuchema kunodzvinyirirwa, kunononozetswa, uye kunopfuurira. Chii chingaitwa kubetsera?

Zano regorokotera ringava rinodikanwa. Chiremba anotsigira wemhuri kana kuti mupi zano wokumudzimu angava anogadzikisa. Mitezo yemhuri ine mufungo ingabetserawo. Munhuyo anoda betsero kuti apfuurire nomune chinoitika chokusuruvara.

Naizvozvo, Jess Romero anobvuma kuti iye akachema pamhene pakurashikirwa nomwanasikana wake nomudzimai wake mukuputsika kwendege. Iye akaudza Mukai!, kuti: “Pashure pamavhiki akati kuti hanzvadzi dzangu dzakanditora muchipatara kuenda kumba, uye sezvandakapinda ndakaona mufanikiso womwanasikana wangu pachidziro. Vatezvara vangu vaona kuti ndakatapurwa nawo uye ivo vakati, ‘Iwe pfuurira kuchema.’ Naizvozvo ndakachema. Ndakakwanisa kuzvibvisira ndimene imwe yenhamo yangu yakanga yakandimomotera.”

Kunyange kuchema kuchigona kuporesa vamwe pakukuvadzwa, kunongova bedzi nechigadzikiso chimwe chokupedzisira nokuda kwavanhu vazhinjisa vakafirwa—kuonazve mudikanwi wavo. Naizvozvo kune tariro nokuda kwavakafa here? Kuchava norumuko here? Tapota rava nyaya yokupedzisira yeiyi nhevedzano.