Kuwana Mufaro Pasinei Nourema Hwangu
YAKATAURWA NAPAULETTE GASPAR
Kunyange zvazvo ndakazvarwa ndichirema makirogiramu matatu, chiremba akaziva kuti pane chakanga chakakanganisika zvikuru pandiri. Pandaizvarwa, mapfupa angu akatyoka. Mufunge, ndine chirwere chinonzi, “osteogenesis imperfecta,” chinonyanya kuzivikanwa sechirwere chemapfupa asina kusimba. Ndakakurumidza kuendeswa kuna vanachiremba vanovhiya, asi vanachiremba vacho vakanga vasingachatarisiri kuti ndaizorarama. Vaifunga kuti ndaizofa mumaawa 24.
NDAKAZVARWA kuCanberra guta rokuAustralia musi waJune 14, 1972. Kusiyana nezvaitarisirwa, zuva iroro ndakararama. Asi ndakabva ndabatwa nemabayo. Sezvo vaifunga kuti ndaizongofa, vanachiremba havana kundipa mushonga uye vakandirega kuti “ndingozvifira zvangu ndoga.” Asi handizvo zvakaitika, ndakararama.
Nguva iyi inofanira kunge yakanga yakaomera vabereki vangu kwazvo. Sezvo vakanga vasingatarisiri kuti ndaizorarama, vanachiremba vaiva nevavariro yakanaka vakaudza vabereki vangu kuti vasandida zvakanyanya. Kutaura chokwadi, mumwedzi yokutanga yandakagara muchipatara, vabereki vangu havana kutombobvumirwa kundibata. Chainyanya kutyirwa apa ndechokuti zvaiva nyore kuti ndikuvare. Pazvakava pachena kuti ndaizorarama, vanachiremba vakaudza vabereki vangu kuti zvaizova zvakanaka kuti ndichengeterwe mumusha wevana vakaremara.
Zvisinei, vabereki vangu vakasarudza kuenda neni kumba. Mufunge, amai vangu vakanga vachangotanga kudzidza Bhaibheri neZvapupu zvaJehovha. Zvavakadzidza zvakaita kuti vanzwe vachisungirwa chaizvo kunditarisira. Asi zvinofanira kunge zvakanga zvakavaomera kuti vave noukama hwepedyo neni sezvo vaipedzera pfungwa dzavo dzose nesimba pabasa guru raidiwa rokunditarisira. Ndaigara ndichingoendeswa kuchipatara. Mapfupa angu aityoka nezvinhu zvakadai sokugezeswa chaiko. Kunyange kuhetsura chaiko kwaigona kutyora mapfupa angu.
Ndakatanga Kuora Mwoyo
Pandaikura, ndaingogara ndiri pawiricheya. Zvakanga zvisingaiti kuti ndidzidzire kufamba. Pasinei nematambudziko aya, vabereki vangu vainyatsonditarisira pane zvose zvandaida.
Uyezve, amai vangu vaiedza zvose zvavaikwanisa kundidzidzisa mashoko anonyaradza omuBhaibheri. Somuenzaniso, vakandidzidzisa kuti munguva yemberi, Mwari achaita kuti pasi rino rive paradhiso richange riine vanhu vane utano hwakakwana mumuviri, mupfungwa uye mune zvokunamata. (Pisarema 37:10, 11; Isaya 33:24) Zvisinei, amai vangu vanobvuma pachena kuti vanoona izvozvo zvakaoma kufungidzira kuti ndichazorarama zvakanaka saizvozvo kutoti nguva yacho yasvika.
Pakutanga, ndaienda kuchikoro chevakaremara. Vadzidzisi vangu vaisambondiudza zvinangwa zvokuti ndiitewo, uye handina zvinangwa zvandakaronga kuti ndaizoita. Kutaura zvazviri, kungotsungirira kuchikoro kwaive dambudziko guru. Vana vakawanda vaindiitira utsinye. Gare gare, ndakatanga kuenda kuchikoro chevasina kuremara. Ndakaona kuti kudzidza kushamwaridzana nevamwe kwaindipedza simba mupfungwa uye mumuviri. Kunyange zvakadaro, ndakanga ndakatsunga kupedza makore angu 12 okuchikoro.
Pandakanga ndava kuchikoro chesekondari, ndakanyatsofunga nezvoupenyu hwevandaidzidza navo kuti vakanga vasina tariro. Ndakafungawo zvinhu zvomuBhaibheri zvandakanga ndadzidziswa naamai vangu. Mupfungwa dzangu, ndaiziva kuti vaitaura chokwadi. Asi panguva iyoyo zvaidzidziswa neBhaibheri hazvina kundibaya mwoyo. Kwechinguva, ndakasarudza kuita kuti upenyu hwangu hunakidze, ndisingambofungi nezveremangwana.
Pandakanga ndava nemakore 18, ndakabva pamba pevabereki vangu uye ndakatanga kugara nevamwe vanhu vakaremara. Ndakanakidzwa nokutama kwandakaita uye zvakaitawo kuti ndinzwe ndichitya. Ndaifadzwa norusununguko rwandakanga ndava narwo, kuzvimiririra kwandakanga ndava kuita, kuva neshamwari uye kushamwaridzana nevamwe. Shamwari dzangu dzakawanda dzakaroora nokuroorwa. Ndainzwawo ndichida kuroorwa. Asi, pamusana pourema hwangu zvakanga zvakaoma kuti ndiroorwe. Kuziva izvi kwakandiodza mwoyo.
Zvisinei, handina kumbopomera Mwari kuti ndiye akanga akonzera urema hwangu. Ndakanga ndadzidza zvakakwana nezvaMwari zvokuti ndaiziva kuti Mwari haambofi akaita zvinhu zvakaipa. (Jobho 34:10) Ndakaedza kungofarira zvandaiva. Kunyange zvakadaro, ndakaora mwoyo zvikuru.
Kupora Zvishoma Nezvishoma
Zvakatonatsa kuti amai vangu vakaziva nezvemamiriro angu ezvinhu uye vakataura nomumwe mukuru muungano aigara pedyo nekwandaiva. Akandifonera ndokundikoka kuti ndipinde misangano yechiKristu paImba yoUmambo yeZvapupu zvaJehovha. Uyewo imwe hanzvadzi yomuungano yakatanga kudzidza neni Bhaibheri vhiki yoga yoga.
Pandakanga ndayeuchidzwa chokwadi chomuBhaibheri chandakanga ndambodzidziswa naamai vangu, ndakatanga kuona upenyu zvakanaka. Ndainakidzwa nokuwadzana nevamwe vaKristu. Zvisinei ndakanga ndadzidza kusataura manzwiro angu nokuti ndaitya kuudzwa zvaizondirwadza mwoyo. Ndinofunga kuti izvi zvakaita kuti ndiomerwe nokunyatsoda Mwari. Kunyange zvakadaro, ndaiziva kuti zvakanga zvakanaka kuti nditsaurire upenyu hwangu kwaari. Saka muna December 1991, ndakaratidza kuzvitsaurira kwangu nokubhabhatidzwa.
Ndakatama muimba yandaigara nevamwe vangu vakaremara uye ndakatanga kugara ndoga. Kugara ndoga kwaindibatsira asi kwaivawo nezvinetso. Somuenzaniso, ndaisurukirwa zvikuru. Uye ndaitya kupindirwa nevarume. Pasina nguva ndakatangazve kuora mwoyo zvikuru. Kunyange zvazvo ndairatidza kusatya uye ndaiita somunhu aifara, zvinhu zvakanga zvisiri kundifambira zvakanaka. Ndaida chaizvo kuva neshamwari yakanaka, yakatsiga.
Ndinofunga kuti Jehovha Mwari akandipa shamwari yandaida. Vakuru vomuungano vakaronga kuti imwe hanzvadzi yaive yakaroorwa yainzi Suzie, ipfuurire kudzidza neni Bhaibheri. Akanga asingori mudzidzisi wangu chete. Akava shamwari yangu yepamwoyo yandinoda zvikuru.
Suzie akandidzidzisa kuudzawo vamwe zvandaidzidza—kuparidzira paimba neimba uye zvisina kurongwa. Ndakatanga kunyatsoyemura unhu hwaMwari kupfuura zvandaimboita. Zvisinei, kunyange zvazvo ndaiva ndabhabhatidzwa, ndakanga ndisati ndava kunyatsoda Mwari. Pane imwe nguva, ndakatombofunga kurega kunamata Jehovha. Ndakaudza Suzie, uye akandibatsira kukurira dambudziko racho.
Suzie akandibatsirawo kuona kuti kusafara kwangu kwaikonzerwa nokunyanya kushamwaridzana nevanhu vakanga vasingadi Jehovha nomwoyo wose. Saka ndakatanga kushamwaridzana nevanhu vaiva vakasimba pakunamata Mwari—kunyanya vakura pazera. Uyewo, takanga tisinganyatsowirirani naamai vangu, saka ndakatanga kuita kuti tiwirirane zvakare uyewo nehanzvadzi yangu. Ndakashamisika kuona ndichifara zvandakanga ndisati ndamboita. Hama nehanzvadzi dzandainamata nadzo, mhuri yangu, uyewo zvikurukuru Jehovha ndivo vakaita kuti ndifare uye ndive nesimba.—Pisarema 28:7.
Basa Idzva
Pashure pokunge ndapinda gungano uye ndanzwa hurukuro yaitaura nezvokufara kunoita vakawanda vanoita basa rokuparidzira nguva yakazara, ndakafunga kuti, ‘Ndinogona kuzviita!’ Ndaizviziva hangu kuti izvi zvaizondiomera. Asi pashure pokunge ndanyengetera uye ndanyatsofunga, ndakasarudza kunyora tsamba yangu yokukumbira kuita basa rokudzidzisa Bhaibheri muupenyu hwangu, uye muna April 1998, ndakatanga kuita basa iri nguva dzose.
Ndinoita sei basa rokuparidzira nokuremara kwandakaita? Muupenyu hwangu ndinoda kuzviitira mabasa angu ndoga, handifariri kunetsa vanhu, ndichida kutakurwa navo kana kubatsirwa nezvimwewo. Saka Suzie nomurume wake Michael, vakandipa zano: Rokutenga mudhudhudhu! Asi, ndaizoshandisa sei mudhudhudhu wacho? Sezvinoratidzwa pamufananidzo, mudhudhudhu wangu wakangogadzirirwa ini chete. Zvandinongorema makirogiramu 19, ndinogona kushandisa mudhudhudhu wangu ndiri pawiricheya!
Mudhudhudhu wangu unondibatsira kushanyira vanhu uye kudzidza navo Bhaibheri panguva yakatinakira. Ndinofarira chaizvo kushandisa mudhudhudhu wangu ndichirohwa nemhepo kumeso—chimwe chezvinhu zvinondifadza chaizvo muupenyu!
Ndinonakidzwa nokutanga kutaura zvisina kurongwa nevanhu mumigwagwa avo vanowanzotaura zvakanaka neni uye vanondiremekedza. Ndinofarira kubatsira vamwe kudzidza nezveBhaibheri. Ndinoyeuka imwe nguva pandaiparidzira paimba neimba ndiine imwe hama yakareba. Akakwazisa mumwe mukadzi uyo akanditarisa achishamisika achibva abvunza shamwari yangu kuti, “Uyu anogona kutaura here?” Tose zvedu takabva tapwatika kuseka. Pandakapedza kumuparidzira, mukadzi wacho akanga ava kunyatsoziva kuti ndinogona kutaura!
Iye zvino ndinonakidzwa noupenyu uye ndakadzidza kuda Jehovha Mwari. Ndinotenda amai vangu chaizvo nokundidzidzisa kwavakaita chokwadi cheBhaibheri, uye ndinotarisira nechivimbo nguva yemberi iri pedyo apo Mwari achaita “kuti zvinhu zvose zvive zvitsva,” kusanganisirawo kamuviri kangu kadiki.—Zvakazarurwa 21:4, 5.
[Mashoko okukwezva vaverengi ari papeji 30]
“Ndakaedza kungofarira zvandaiva. Kunyange zvakadaro, ndakaora mwoyo zvikuru”