Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Ingabe Kufanele Ngitshele Othile Ukuthi Ngicindezelekile?

“Uma ngicindezelekile ngiqale ngingafuni ukuxoxa ngakho ngoba abantu bangase bacabange ukuthi ngiyingane eyinkathazo. Kodwa kamuva ngiyabona ukuthi kudingeka ngixoxe nothile ukuze ngithole usizo.”—U-Alejandro, oneminyaka engu-13 ubudala.

“Uma ngicindezelekile, angibatsheli abangane bami ngoba angiboni ukuthi bangangisiza. Bangangenza inhlekisa.”—U-Arturo, oneminyaka engu-13 ubudala.

CISHE sonke siyacindezeleka ngezinye izikhathi.a Nokho, ngenxa yokuthi usemncane futhi awunalwazi olutheni, kulula ukuba uzwe sengathi izingcindezi zokuphila sezingaphezu kwakho. Okufunwa abazali bakho, abangane nothisha; ushintsho olungokomzimba nolungokomzwelo ngenxa yokuthomba; noma umuzwa wokuthi uyisehluleki ngenxa yezintwanyana ezingezinhle—konke lokhu kungase kukushiye ucindezelekile futhi udangele.

Uma lokho kwenzeka, kuhle ukuba nothile ongathululela kuye isifuba. UBeatriz oneminyaka engu-17 ubudala uthi: “Ukube bengingakhulumi nothile ngezinkinga zami, ngicabanga ukuthi bengingaqhuma.” Nokho, kuyadabukisa ukuthi intsha eningi ayikhulumi ngezinkinga zayo—futhi ivame ukuzithola iya ngokuya iphelelwa yithemba. UMaría de Jesús Mardomingo, uprofesa eMedical Faculty of Madrid, uphawula ukuthi intsha efinyelela eqophelweni lokuzama ukuzibulala ngokuvamile isuke inesizungu kakhulu. Intsha eningi eyasinda izama ukuzibulala yathi yayingazange ikwazi ukuthola noyedwa umuntu omdala eyayingaxoxa naye neyayingathululela kuye isifuba.

Kuthiwani ngawe? Ingabe unaye othile ongaxoxa naye uma uzizwa udangele? Uma ungenaye, ubani ongaphendukela kuye?

Xoxa Nabazali Bakho

U-Alejandro, ocashunwe ekuqaleni, uchaza lokho akwenzayo uma ecindezelekile: “Ngiya kumama ngoba selokhu ngazalwa, uyangisekela futhi ungenza ngizethembe. Ngiya nakubaba ngoba naye wake wabhekana nezimo engibhekana nazo. Uma ngiphatheke kabi kodwa ngingatsheli muntu, ngiphatheka kabi nakakhulu.” URodolfo oneminyaka engu-11, uyakhumbula: “Ngezinye izikhathi uthisha wayengigcona futhi angikhace, ngakho ngangiphatheka kabi. Ngangiya endlini yangasese ngikhale. Kodwa kamuva ngaxoxa nomama, futhi wangisiza ngaxazulula inkinga yami. Ukube angizange ngixoxe naye, ngangiyophatheka kabi nakakhulu.”

Uke wakucabangela yini ukuxoxa nabazali bakho ukhiphe okusenhliziyweni? Mhlawumbe unomuzwa wokuthi ngeke baziqonde izinkinga zakho. Kodwa ingabe kunjalo ngempela? Bangase bangaziqondi zonke izingcindezi intsha ebhekana nazo namuhla; kodwa akulona yini iqiniso ukuthi mhlawumbe bakwazi kangcono ukwedlula noma ubani omunye emhlabeni? U-Alejandro uthi: “Ngezinye izikhathi akulula ngabazali bami ukuzwelana nami futhi baqonde indlela engizizwa ngayo.” Noma kunjalo, uyavuma: “Ngiyazi ukuthi ngingathembela kubo.” Ngokuvamile intsha iyamangala ukuthola ukuthi abazali bayo baziqonda kahle kangakanani izinkinga zayo! Ngenxa yokuthi badala futhi banolwazi oluningi, ngokuvamile banganikeza iseluleko esiwusizo—ikakhulukazi uma bekwazi ukusebenzisa izimiso zeBhayibheli.

UBeatriz, oke wacashunwa, uthi: “Uma ngikhuluma nabazali bami, ngithola isikhuthazo namakhambi awusizo okuxazulula izinkinga zami.” Khona-ke, ngesizathu esihle iBhayibheli linikeza intsha lesi seluleko: “Ndodana yami, gcina umyalo kayihlo, ungawushiyi umthetho kanyoko. Lalela uyihlo owakuzalayo, ungamdeleli unyoko lapho esemdala.”—IzAga 6:20; 23:22.

Kuyiqiniso ukuthi kunzima ukuthulula isifuba kubazali bakho uma ningenabo ubudlelwane obuhle. NgokukaDkt. Catalina González Forteza, ucwaningo olwenziwa kubafundi basesikoleni esiphakeme lwabonisa ukuthi labo abathi babeke bazama ukuzibulala babezinyeza futhi bengenabo ubudlelwane obuhle nabazali babo. Ngokuphambene, intsha egwema ukucabanga okunjalo okulimazayo ngokuvamile “yileyo ejabulela ubudlelwane obuhle nonina noyise.”

Ngakho-ke, ngokuhlakanipha hlakulela ubudlelwane obuhle nabazali bakho. Jwayela ukuxoxa nabo njalo. Batshele ngokwenzeka ekuphileni kwakho. Babuze imibuzo. Izingxoxo ezinjalo ezilula zingase zenze kube lula ukuxoxa nabo uma unenkinga engathi sína.

Ukuxoxa Nomngane

Kodwa ngeke yini kube lula ukuxoxa nontanga yakho ngezinkinga zakho? Kuhle ukuba nabangane ongabethemba. IzAga 18:24 zithi “kukhona abangane ababambelela kuneselamani.” Kodwa nakuba ontanga bengazwelana nawe futhi bakusekele, ngeke bakunike iseluleko esihle ngaso sonke isikhathi. Phela, ngokuvamile nabo banolwazi olufana nolwakho ezindabeni zokuphila. Uyamkhumbula uRehobowamu? Wayeyinkosi ngezikhathi zeBhayibheli. Esikhundleni sokwamukela iseluleko samadoda angomakad’ ebona navuthiwe, walalela ontanga. Waba yini umphumela? Inhlekelele! URehobowamu walahlekelwa yikho kokubili ukusekelwa yisizwe nokwamukelwa uNkulunkulu.—1 AmaKhosi 12:8-19.

Enye inkinga ngokuthulula isifuba sakho kontanga kungase kube indaba yokugcina imfihlo. U-Arturo, ocashunwe ekuqaleni, uyaphawula: “Abafana abaningi engibaziyo baxoxa nabangane babo uma bephatheke kabi. Kodwa kamuva, abangane babo baxoxela abanye konke lokho ababatshele kona futhi bahlekise ngabo.” UGabriela oneminyaka engu-13 ubudala uye wabhekana nesimo esifanayo. Uthi: “Ngolunye usuku ngathola ukuthi umngane wami wayexoxa ngezindaba zami komunye umngane wakhe, ngakho angiphindanga ngathulula isifuba kuye. Yebo, ngiyaxoxa nabantu abangangami, kodwa angibatsheli izinto engingaphatheka kabi uma bezixoxela abanye.” Ngakho uma ufuna usizo, kubalulekile ukuthola umuntu ‘ongayembuli imfihlakalo yomunye.’ (IzAga 25:9) Umuntu onjalo ngokuvamile kuyoba umuntu omdala kunawe.

Ngakho, uma ngezizathu ezithile ungakutholi ukusekelwa ekhaya, kuhle ukuthola umngane ongathululela kuye isifuba, kodwa qiniseka ukuthi unokuhlangenwe nakho ekuphileni nolwazi ngezimiso zeBhayibheli. Akungabazeki ukuthi ebandleni lendawo loFakazi BakaJehova kunabantu abanjalo. ULiliana oneminyaka engu-16 ubudala uthi: “Ngiye ngathululela isifuba kwabanye odadewethu abangamaKristu, futhi lokhu kuye kwangisiza kakhulu. Njengoba bebadala kunami, baneseluleko esihle. Sebengabangane bami.”

Kuthiwani uma ingokomoya lakho seliqala ukuphazamiseka? Mhlawumbe uphatheke kabi kangangokuthi usuqale ukudebeselela umthandazo noma ukufunda iBhayibheli. KuJakobe 5:14, 15 iBhayibheli lisinika lesi seluleko: “Ingabe ukhona ogulayo phakathi kwenu? Makabizele kuye amadoda amadala ebandla, futhi mawamthandazele, emgcoba ngamafutha egameni likaJehova. Futhi umthandazo wokholo uyokwenza ongaphilile kahle aphile, uJehova amvuse.” Ibandla lendawo loFakazi BakaJehova linamadoda amadala anokuhlangenwe nakho ekusizeni abantu abadumele noma abagulayo ngokomoya. Zizwe ukhululekile ukuxoxa nawo. IBhayibheli lithi amadoda anjalo angaba ‘njengendawo yokucashela umoya nesivikelo esivunguvungwini.’—Isaya 32:2.

“Izicelo Zenu Mazaziwe UNkulunkulu”

Nokho, umthombo ongcono kakhulu wosizo ‘uNkulunkulu wenduduzo yonke.’ (2 Korinte 1:3) Uma uphatheke kabi futhi ucindezelekile, landela iseluleko sabaseFilipi 4:6, 7: “Ningakhathazeki ngalutho, kodwa kukho konke izicelo zenu mazaziwe uNkulunkulu ngomthandazo nangokunxusa kanye nokubonga; futhi ukuthula kukaNkulunkulu okudlula konke ukucabanga kuyoqapha izinhliziyo zenu namandla enu engqondo ngoKristu Jesu.” UJehova uhlale ezimisele ukukulalela. (IHubo 46:1; 77:1) Futhi ngezinye izikhathi udinga wona kanye umthandazo ukuze udambise ukukhathazeka kwengqondo.

Uma uphatheka kabi noma ucindezeleka ngezikhathi ezithile, ungakhohlwa ukuthi nenye intsha ibhekana nemizwa efanayo. Ngokuvamile leyo mizwa iyophela ngokuhamba kwesikhathi. Kodwa okwamanje, ungakhathazeki wedwa. Tshela othile ngobuhlungu obhekene nabo. IzAga 12:25 zithi: “Ukukhathazeka enhliziyweni yomuntu kuyayithobisa, kepha izwi elihle liyayithokozisa.” Ulithola kanjani lelo “zwi elihle” lesikhuthazo? Ngokutshela othile—onokuhlangenwe nakho, ulwazi nokuhlakanipha kokuhlonipha uNkulunkulu ongakududuza futhi akunike usizo oludingayo.

[Umbhalo waphansi]

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 14]

“Uma ngikhuluma nabazali bami, ngithola isikhuthazo namakhambi awusizo”

[Amazwi acashunwe esihlokweni ekhasini 15]

Abazali abesaba uNkulunkulu bangakunikeza iseluleko esingcono kunontanga yakho