Intsha Iyabuza . . .

Omama Abangashadile Bangasisingatha Kanjani Ngokuphumelelayo Isimo Sabo?

IMIZWELO kaLinda yayihlanganisa ukushaqeka, ukuphika iqiniso, ukwesaba, intukuthelo, nokuphelelwa ithemba.a Ukuhlola kwakuqinisekise into ayeyesaba kakhulu—wayenezinyanga ezintathu ekhulelwe. Njengoba engashadile futhi eneminyaka engu-15 kuphela ubudala, uLinda ungomunye nje wezigidi ezeve eshumini nambili ezikhulelwa unyaka ngamunye e-United States. Nokho, ukukhulelwa kwabeve eshumini nambili kuyinkinga yembulunga yonke, ekhungethe wonke amaqembu ezinhlanga nezigaba zenhlalo nezomnotho.

Amanye amantombazane eve eshumini nambili acabanga ukuthi ukukhulelwa kuyowakhulula ekuphileni kwasekhaya okungajabulisi noma kuqinise ubuhlobo nesoka. Amanye abheka umntwana njengophawu lokuvelela noma njengokuthile okungokwawo ukuba akugone futhi akuthande. Nokho, iqiniso elibuhlungu lokuba umzali ongayedwa ngokushesha liyayiqeda imibono enjalo ecatshangelwayo. Umama ongashadile uphoqeleka ukuba enze ukukhetha okunzima, futhi ngokuvamile okubuhlungu. Angase futhi abhekane nezinkinga zezomnotho, ukuphelelwa ithemba, isizungu, nokucindezela kokukhulisa umntwana ngaphandle komngane womshado. Khona-ke, ngesizathu esihle uMdali wethu uyala amaKristu ukuba ‘abalekele ubufebe,’ kuhlanganise nobulili bangaphambi komshado.—1 Korinte 6:18; Isaya 48:17.

Ukuziphatha okubi ngokobulili akubekezelelwa phakathi koFakazi BakaJehova. (1 Korinte 5:11-13) Nakuba kunjalo, bakhona phakathi kwabo omama abangashadile abasebasha. Abanye bakhulelwa ngaphambi kokuba bafunde ngezindinganiso zikaNkulunkulu. Abanye bakhuliswa njengamaKristu, kodwa bawela ekuziphatheni okubi. Abanye, ngemva kokujeziswa ibandla, bayaphenduka ezonweni zabo. IZwi likaNkulunkulu linikeza luphi usizo nesiqondiso entsheni enjalo?b

Ingabe Kufanele Ngishade Noyise?

IBhayibheli likwenza kucace ukuthi ukukhipha isisu kumelene nomthetho kaNkulunkulu. (Eksodusi 20:13; qhathanisa no-Eksodusi 21:22, 23; IHubo 139:14-16.) Lifundisa nokuthi umama ongayedwa unomthwalo wemfanelo wokondla umntanakhe, kungakhathaliseki izimo ezingajabulisi lowomntwana atholwa ngaphansi kwazo. (1 Thimothewu 5:8) Ezimweni eziningi, kungcono ukuba intombazane izikhulisele umntwana ngokwayo kunokuba ivumele ukuba atholwe omunye umuntu.c

Ngenxa yobunzima obungalethwa ukukhulisa umntwana eyedwa, abanye omama bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi kungaba ukuhlakanipha ukushada noyise womntwana. Kodwa obaba abaningi abasebasha abanawo umuzwa wesibopho kumntwana noma unina. Ngaphandle kwalokho, obaba abaningi abasebasha basebancane futhi abasebenzi. Ukungenela lokho omunye umcwaningi akubiza ngokuthi “umshado ongazinzile neze owenziwa kuphela ukuze kuvinjelwe ukuzalwa komntwana ngaphandle komshado” kungamane kwenze isimo esibi sibe sibi ngokwengeziwe. Khumbula futhi ukuthi iBhayibheli liyala amaKristu ukuba ashade ‘kuphela eNkosini.’ (1 Korinte 7:39) Eqaphela lokhu, uLinda (okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni) wanquma ukuba angashadi noyise womntanakhe oneminyaka engu-18 ubudala. Uyachaza: “Wayengenasithakazelo kuNkulunkulu noma eBhayibhelini.”

Lokhu akusho ukumbekela eceleni ngokuphelele uyise womntwana. Njengoba umntwana ekhula, angase afune ukwazi uyise omzalayo. Noma kungenzeka uyise womntwana noma abazali bakhe bazizwa benesibopho esithile ngokomzwelo sokuba nobuhlobo nomntwana noma ukusekela ngokwezimali. Nakuba kunjalo, abazali bentombazane bangase bakhethe ukuba ingabe isaxhumana nalensizwa. (1 Thesalonika 4:3) Nokho, kwamanye amazwe izinkantolo ziye zanikeza oyise bezingane abangashadile amalungelo angokomthetho afanayo namalungelo obaba abashadile. Ngakho-ke ukulondoloza ubuhlobo obunokuthula noyise ongashadile womntwana nomkhaya wakubo kungase kuvimbele impi eshubile yokuwina umntwana.d Nakuba okunye ukusebenzelana nalobaba osemusha kungase kudingeke, akufanele kube sesimweni esivusa imizwa yothando noma esingenza umuntu ayekethise izindinganiso zokuziphatha. Ngokuvamile kutuswa ukuqondisa komuntu ovuthiwe.

Ukuthola Usizo

Incwadi ethi Surviving Teen Pregnancy ithi: “Lapho unquma ukugcina futhi ukhulise umntanakho, ukhetha ukuba umuntu omdala ngokuphazima kweso. . . . Ukhetha ukubekela eceleni ingxenye yakho ebingenazo izinkathazo, ebinezibopho noma imithwalo yemfanelo embalwa.” Ngakho umzali oweve eshumini nambili udinga usizo nokusekelwa. Ukufunda izincwadi ezifanele zezokwelapha (ezingase zitholakale kalula emtatsheni wezincwadi womphakathi) kungase kufeze indima enkulu ekusizeni umama osemusha onovalo ahlakulele ukwethemba amakhono akhe okunakekela umntwana.

Okubaluleke kakhulu ukusekela kwabazali. Umama wentombazane angaba umthombo wangempela wokuhlangenwe nakho kokukhulisa umntwana. Yiqiniso, kungase kube nzima ukucela usizo. Kungenzeka abazali bentombazane basaphatheke kabi futhi basathukuthele. Bangase besabe nokuthi lokhu kukhulelwa kuyoba nomphumela ongemuhle endleleni yabo siqu yokuphila. “Abazali bami babethukuthele ngoba babefuna ukwenza izinto eziningi,” kukhumbula uDonna oneminyaka engu-17 ubudala. “Manje bathi abakwazi ukuzenza ngenxa yokuthola kwami umntwana.” Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi abazali abaningi bayayinqoba imizwelo yabo ebuhlungu futhi bazimisele ukusiza ngandlela-thile. Osemusha ophendukayo angazidambisa kakhulu izingxabano ngokuvuma ubuhlungu abubangele futhi axolise ngobuqotho.—Qhathanisa noLuka 15:21.

Kuthiwani uma abazali bentombazane benqaba ukusiza noma bengenakuyivumela nje ukuba iqhubeke ihlala nabo? Emazweni okunikezwa kuwo usizo lomphakathi, umama ongashadile angase aphoqeleke ukuba alucele—okungenani ekuqaleni. IBhayibheli liyawavumela amaKristu ukuba asebenzise amalungiselelo anjalo. Nokho, lokhu kuyosho ukuphila ngesimiso esinqala sokusebenzisa imali. USharon oneminyaka engu-17 ubudala uthi: “Kubonakala sengathi imali inkinga yami enkulu kunazo zonke. Ngikwazi ukuthenga ukudla namanabukeni kuphela.” Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi kungenzeka uthole umsebenzi. Ukuzama ukusingatha ukuba umama, umsebenzi, nemisebenzi engokomoya ngeke kube lula, kodwa abanye baye bakwazi ukukwenza.

Ukusebenzisa Ukuhlakanipha Nokuqonda Ekuhlaleni Ndawonye

Uma abazali bentombazane bevuma, kungase kube nezinzuzo zangempela ukuhlala ekhaya kunokuzama ukuziphilela. Ngokuvamile ukuhlala ekhaya akubizi kakhulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, amagceke ajwayelekile asekhaya angase anikeze umuzwa wokuvikeleka nokulondeka. Ukuhlala ekhaya kungase kwenze kube lula nokuba intombazane iqhubeke nemfundo yayo. Ngokuphothula esekhondari, intombazane ithuthukisa amathuba ayo okuziphilisa.e

Yiqiniso, ukuhlala kwezizukulwane ezintathu ekhaya kungabangela ukucindezeleka kubo bonke abahilelekile. Umama ongayedwa kungase kudingeka ahlale endaweni eminyene. Abazali nezelamani kungase kudingeke bajwayele ukuphazanyiswa ukukhala komntwana lapho belele. Isimiso somkhaya singase siphazamiseke. Kodwa izAga 24:3 zithi: “Indlu iyakhiwa ngokuhlakanipha, iqiniswe ngokuqonda.” Yebo, uma bonke abahilelekile bebonisa uthando olungenabugovu nokucabangela, zingase zincishiswe izingxabano emkhayeni.

Izinkinga ziyophakama futhi uma umama osemusha ezama ukubalekela ukuthwala umthwalo wakhe wemfanelo futhi alindele ugogo womntwana ukuba enze wonke umsebenzi. (Qhathanisa neyabaseGalathiya 6:5.) Noma ugogo onezisusa ezinhle angase ngenkani afune ukunakekela umzukulu wakhe ngokuphelele. Incwadi ethi Facing Teenage Pregnancy iyaphawula: “Ugogo nomkhulu abakhulisa umntwana wendodakazi yabo engashadile njengokungathi ngeyabo bangase bakhulise izingxabano zomkhaya nokushayisana kwezindima.” Nakuba usizo nokusekela kukagogo nomkhulu kubalulekile, imiBhalo ithwesa abazali umthwalo wemfanelo wokukhulisa umntwana. (Efesu 6:1, 4) Ngakho-ke ukukhulumisana okuhle nokubambisana kungasiza kakhulu ekuvimbeleni ukungqubuzana.—IzAga 15:22.

Awuwedwa

Nakuba ukuthola umntwana ungashadile kunzima, akukhona ukuphela kokuphila komuntu. UNkulunkulu ‘wenza ukuthethelela kube kukhulu’ kwabaphendukayo emaphutheni abo. (Isaya 55:7) Ukuzindla ngalokhu kungasiza umama ongayedwa ukuba anqobe imizwa yokuzizonda engase imfikele ngezinye izikhathi. Lapho edumele, angancika kuJehova futhi aye kuye ngomthandazo. Anganxusa nosizo lukaNkulunkulu ekukhuliseni umntanakhe.—Qhathanisa nabAhluleli 13:8.

UJehova unikeza ukusekela nangebandla lobuKristu. Nakuba oFakazi BakaJehova bengakuyekeleli ukuziphatha okubi, bayabacabangela labo ngokuzisola abenza izinguquko ekuphileni kwabo ukuze bajabulise uNkulunkulu. (Roma 15:7; Kolose 1:10) Abanye ebandleni bangase bashukumiseleke ukuba bathole izindlela eziqotho zokunikeza umzali ongayedwa usizo olungokoqobo. (Qhathanisa noDuteronomi 24:17-20; Jakobe 1:27.) Okungenani, bangaba abangane futhi balalele ngozwela lapho kudingeka. (IzAga 17:17) Nakuba abazali benze isono esingathi sína, umntwana akanacala. Ngakho ibandla lingasiza uma unina ebonisa isimo sengqondo esifanele.

Yeka ukuthi kungcono kakhulu kangakanani ukungayiphuli nhlobo imithetho kaNkulunkulu! Kodwa abonayo abaye baphenduka enkambweni yabo enhlanhlathayo, futhi benza ngokufanele, bangaqiniseka ngosizo lukaJehova ekusingatheni isimo sabo ngokuphumelelayo.

[Imibhalo yaphansi]

[Isithombe ekhasini 23]

Umama ongashadile udinga usizo nokusekelwa